#because i’ve watched the show 20 million times and where did that mic go

[notherpuppet]

This is my headcanon for what happened while Rosie was talking to Charlie

[natromanxoff]

11 - Van Halen...

Hi there one and all.

Can I first start by saying farewell to Cozy. I've known him for about fifteen years and would not say he was a close friend or anything, but whenever we caught up with each other there was always time for a beer and chat. He was an A1 guy and will be greatly missed as a person and as a brilliant drummer. When John Bonham died he left the crown for the best rock drummer to Cozy, and I can't think of anyone worthy enough to take over. When Bonzo died we were doing a show at Madison Square Gardens, and as they were going into Champions Fred said, "This one's for John Bonham." The place erupted. If that's Bonzo's song, then I think Cozy should inherit We Will Rock You, because he was THE best rock drummer.

My social life has been quite hectic again. Caught up with Status Quo when they played here recently, they're always good fun to chat with, and they still put on a decent show. Next Sunday I'm gonna see Matchbox 20. Have a listen to their album, it's really good. Last night was the all new Van Halen, and thanks to my mate Nick I had one of those wonderful VIP passes hanging round my neck. I, along with the rest of the world was curious to know what Gary Cherone was going to be like. Brilliant. This has to be the best VH line up yet. The show was being filmed by MTV, so if you see it and the camera pans around to the sound desk, just look for the best looking guy in the building and that'll be me, standing next to him.

Anyway, back to VH. They are still a great rock band, a great live act and great musicians, and I still hate drum solo's. But back to Mr Cherone. We all know what he did at the Tribute, and we all know he's a huge Queen fan, and he's the closest singer to Freddie I've ever seen. His outfit, black satin shirt and flared black satin pants. I seem to remember FM wearing that around 75/76. His mic stand is the FM 'wand', except it's a lot longer. His movements are very theatrical, and dare I say camp at times, with lots of twists and turns, very Freddie. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not knocking him at all, he is an amazing showman and doesn't stop all night, even jumping into the crowd and running up the steps to the top of the arena, and then tumbling down like a stuntman. It's good rock 'n roll, so try and check them out, I don't think you'll regret it. (I've become concert reviewer all of a sudden) At times he even sounds like another singer, but I won't keep on, I'll leave it to somebody else. On the rock station, Triple M, one of the jocks this afternoon said, "He's been watching to many videos of our dear departed friend Freddie Mercury. His movements were exactly like his."

The first time I ever saw Van Halen was at a place called the Circus Krona(!) in good old Munich. I went along to see them with the curly one, and when we got there I had to instantly phone the studio and try and get Rog to come along because it was the biggest PA system I had ever seen in a place that size. When they started the intro tape it was so loud I thought my chest was gonna cave in, the bass just pinned you to your seat. Needless to say Brian was like a pig in shit. Before I tell you my little Queen story, I have to tell you about what I consider to be the best onstage patter I think I've ever heard. David Lee Roth was talking to the crowd between numbers and somebody in the crowd chucked a paper cup or something at him, he stopped talking, looked round in the general direction and said, "Hey man, you can throw what you like at me. Because tonight I'm going to f**k your chick." 20,000 people loved it, and so did I cause I still remember him saying it.

OK. We were touring the States, probably around 81/82, and we were flying to Portland. The band entourage were traveling on a wonderful private plane, and as the crew would have been in the bus for about 24 hrs we took as many as we could with us. The date was Sept.1, I remember because thats my birthday, and when we boarded the plane there was a huge cake with 'Happy Birthday Crystal' on it, and even more booze than we normally had. (Somebody must have expected something) One of the nice things about private planes is that you can make detours and the pilot flew around Mt St Helens a few times so we could see right into the crater, and it was still steaming, an amazing sight. Back to my birthday and a few of us needed some privacy, so Jim 'Mary' Devenney, Jimmy ' Idiot Boy' Barnett, Peter 'Feebie' Freestone, Roger '*******' Taylor and myself stocked up with a couple of drinks and retired to the Master Bedroom for a discussion on world politics. When the plane landed we were still a few thousand feet up in the air, legless is the best way to describe us. Hey, it was my birthday after all. We fell into the limo's and headed to the hotel, and the crew went on to theirs.

On arrival I found out that Van Halen were staying there, and they were playing that night, so I secured a few million passes and went looking for somebody to go partying with. After all it was 4pm and if I went to sleep I'd wake up feeling awful so I had to continue. RT said he was gonna crash, but Feebie and Terry were ready to go, so we said we would go to the first bar we came to. As it turned out it was a topless joint, and needless to say I was shocked and stunned, but a deals a deal. We were drinking shots of peppermint schnapps with vodka and orange chasers, very intelligent. At about 8pm we all shot off to watch VH, and they were great. After the show both bands arrange to meet in the bar at the hotel, but the bar is one of those stupid ones in the middle of the lobby. So there we are, the four Queenies, Feebie, Wally, Tunbrige, Terry and me, and the four Van Halens, all sitting around having a slurp, and VH's minders running around like headless chickens in the CIA. Outside the main doors were hundreds of fans, with a VH gorilla keeping them out, even to the point of stopping Ratty coming in. I had to argue with this moron to let one of our crew in, and he said, "If he goes anywhere near David or Eddie I'll throw him out." I could only answer with that wonderful two worded phrase starting and ending in F. Because it was like being in a fish bowl we decided to leave the bar, and everyone wandered off to various rooms to continue, the biggest bash being in Rogers suite.

At some unknown hour whilst I'm having a very pleasant conversation with a charming lady who called herself 'Naughty Nancy,' Jobby says to me, "I've been looking for you, Tunbridge wants you to call him now, it's urgent, Brians had an accident." Jobby was very drunk and I didn't know if he was serious or joking, so I phoned Tunbridges room and there was no reply. What do I do now? If Brians asleep and I wake him I'm in trouble, and if he has hurt himself and I don't call I'm still in trouble. What do I care? I'm drunk and fearless, so I phone and Tunbridge asks me to get there asap.

When I go in, Brians lying on the bed on his side, with the waste paper bin close at hand, and Tunbrige is grinning and mopping his brow with a damp cloth. Brian was mumbling stuff like "Don't let me die." (I'm sure most of us have been there at sometime or another) I probably shouldn't say this, but I had to grin, I thought it highly amusing. I got an explanation and told Tunbridge not to let him sleep on his back, and call me if there were anymore problems. I then returned to NN.

It turned out that when we all left the bar, Brian had gone to Eddie's room where they consumed huge quantities of Jack Daniels, and Brian not being a bourbon drinker, went to the toilet to worship the porcelain god, and threw up with such gusto he hit his head on the cistern, split his head open and nearly knocked himself out. The following night we played the same place VH did, and Mr May with band aid on head, played a blinder. A couple of years later, in the Rainbow in LA, I met Alex Van Halens estranged wife, and that, as they say, is another story all together.

Crystal

[yasbxxgie]

The Artist’s Way: Writer-director Radha Blank ruminates on creative frustration and rejuvenation in her debut feature, The Forty-Year-Old Version

Fair warning: This interview with Radha Blank isn’t business — it’s personal. Right now, like at this very moment, Radha is being introduced to the world as the writer, director, and star of the remarkable new Netflix film The Forty-Year-Old Version. But I remember Radha in the 1990s, smashing open mics at Brooklyn Moon in N.Y.C., rocking a fitted N.Y. Yankees cap and big hoop earrings. I remember her jumping into cyphers and catching wreck (read: she can dance her ass off) at Club Kilimanjaro. I remember sitting in the audience of her play Seed in 2011 and thinking, Damn, homegirl can write. I remember witnessing the rise of her emcee alter ego and one-woman show RadhaMUSprime at Joe’s Pub in 2014 and thinking, Damn, Radha can rhyme. AND she funny AF. Because Radha was (and is) a part of a close-knit artists’ community, I also recall her hustle, the keeping-the-lights-on-while-trying-to-make-your-dreams-come-true shuffle we know so well. Radha worked as a teacher, she wrote for children’s television and for shows such as Empire and She’s Gotta Have It.

So when The Forty-Year-Old Version won the U.S. Dramatic Directing Award at Sundance earlier this year, the community rejoiced! This wasn’t just a win for Radha, it was a win for the people. Here was a film rooted in Radha’s own story, about a woman at 40; a Black artist trying to get her stories told — as a playwright and as a rapper; a daughter grieving the death of her mother. Radha told her story her way, down to shooting the streets of New York on 35mm film in black and white. The result is a whole, liberating mood. There’s even a nod to Prince’s Purple Rain.

Karen Good Marable: First of all, Radha, congratulations! The Forty-Year-Old Version is amazing. Your success feels so much like a win for Brooklyn. A win for us all. Thank you for writing it. Radha Blank: I really did make it for us — us being Black women, Black women of a certain age, Black women artists of a certain age. I didn’t think I’d be starting a whole new career in my 40s, but I think it speaks to what’s possible if you let go of other people’s ideas of where you should be in your life. If I listened to other people and gave credence to their ideas, I would not be here.

Amen. When you were younger, did you have the boxes to check, i.e., “I need to get this done by 30, I need to get this done by 40”? Were you that girl? RB:

I think I was that girl. And I always say this about aging: It’s never really about the person; it’s about other people’s perceptions that you then take on. I thought by 40, I would be married with a couple of kids, all of my work being published, theaters asking, “Can we do a revival of this play now?” I really thought once I decided to be a playwright, which was probably my mid-20s, I thought, Oh, by 40, I’m going to be set up. I will have a house. And I do have a house, but that came from Cookie and Lucious Lyon. They got me a house.

Come through, Empire. RB:

I feel like we’ve all been conditioned to think that 40 is: You’re an adult, you’re accomplished, you’re established. What me and my character share is there’s still all of these “who am I” moments, questions around identity. Especially when my mother died, I really had to figure out who I was, because so much of my life as a woman, as a person, as a Black American, as an artist, was tied to this woman. When she died, I really had no sense of myself. So I feel like my personal experience propelled me toward telling the story. We just don’t see women of that age saying, What do I do next? Am I happy? Is this enough?

Your mother — curator, visual artist, cinephile, and arts teacher Carol Blank — figures prominently in the film. She is a goddess and a guide, but she also represents a complicated lesson in what it means to be an artist. RB: Oh, listen, I feel like everything I’ve learned, I’ve learned from my mother — from my frustration as an artist to being a teaching artist for so long. That’s where I learned how to be a director, honestly. I didn’t go to film school. I did stand-up comedy and all this performance stuff, and my first example was my mother. She knew how to turn a phrase or a joke to get the kids interested, and if they weren’t, she wasn’t going to push it. I learned from her first, and I tried to match her energy.

I don’t know what my mother went through when she turned 40, as an artist. I know she was a mom of two by that time, but I gathered — especially because she was a teaching artist for so many years — that she was hustling, jumping between these different roles, trying to make sense of something for herself. In that way, I feel like the movie and my journey as an artist brought me closer to her. I was like, Oh, this is what you had to go through. And then you had two kids on top of that?

In the film, your character is also a teacher. As much as she tries to model support and positivity, sometimes the frustration seeps through. One line stayed with me: “Don’t think that because you created something, people will appreciate it.” RB:

Yeah, I have been bitter. I was able to transform that into a film; it gave me a story to tell. But I did feel that theater as an institution didn’t pay off, there wasn’t much of a dividend. I had done a play in 2011 called Seed, and everyone was like, “Girl, this is your breakout! This is your moment! This play is going on Broadway!” None of that shit happened. Theater was not responding in the same way. I was quietly devastated by it, and I think the movie is my exploration of the why. How come things didn’t happen for me? Here’s someone who has been trying for 20-something years and my biggest accomplishment was 10 years ago when I was 30. That’s why I invented the 30 Under 30 award for my character: The idea that accomplishments are amplified by one’s proximity to youth. There’s no 50 Under 50 award. Or 60 Under 60. Being young and doing something as an artist seems more of a cause for celebration. You know what I mean?

There’s also this theme of displacement that runs through the film. In addition to your protagonist feeling out of place in the classroom and in the theater community, she’s also setting a play, Harlem Ave, that deals with gentrification. RB:

So, my parents were gentrifiers in their own way in the late 60s and 70s, when they moved to the south side of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. They didn’t displace people, because what they and their artist and jazz musician comrades would do is take over dilapidated spaces that were considered unlivable — broken-down lofts and factories and storefronts — and create community. There was an investment in engaging the community that came before you, whereas now I think gentrification really is just about an opportunity for the person moving in — “Oh, look at this dope, cheap brownstone that I can get” — with no regard for what came before.

Right. RB: The same thing happens with these artistic institutions: They find a dilapidated space, they revive it and put a million dollars into it. Then when it comes to programming, the people on the stage don’t look like the people outside of the gate. They’re thinking of their silver-haired patrons, because those people can afford a $100 ticket, and that is who I feel most of the theaters cater to. So when diversity shows up on the stage, it’s a version of diversity that protects the audience from feeling bad about racism or sexism. They can still remain in a comfortable place, so they can come back next week or next month and see something for the $300 membership.

But then you brilliantly juxtapose said institutions with the battle rap in the Bronx. RB: I wanted to show these different hubs of art in New York. This film is about capturing an authentic New York experience, and so we shot that battle rap scene at a warehouse space at the tip-top of the Bronx. Art and culture are happening in these spaces that we’re not always focusing the camera on and that don’t have the multimillion-dollar renovation fund of a downtown theater. But this is theater. This is art.

Is that battle based on an actual show? RB:

Yes. Well, we recreated that. Babs Bunny, who people may recognize from Making the Band, created this brand called Queen of the Ring. If you go on YouTube, you’ll see their battle raps. I would watch them because I just needed to see women slaying shit and not being proper or polite. I just wanted to put it into a cinematic world.

Your pen is equally hard-hitting, Radha. Rhymes like “Poverty Porn” and “This Some Bullshit” do so much in revealing character, advancing the narrative. RB:

Thank you. I mean, I feel like if we’re stopping to listen to a song, it should still be about advancing the narrative. We’re still moving forward, riding on this person’s frustration, but into the next scene, next act, or what have you. I think it comes from being a playwright, making sure that everything is earned and not just thrown in there for novelty or because it’s colorful and interesting. I feel like RadhaMUSprime is probably an explosion of her consciousness, the things that she’d been suppressing.But yeah, I’m an emcee. I rhyme. The beautiful thing about the film is I didn’t have to become a professional rapper. I don’t feel like the movie is 8 Mile. I say the movie is 2 Mile,

because she’s not trying to go that far. She’s not trying to be a hip-hop star. For her, hip-hop is a meditation and it shows up in many ways, from the trap beat floating outside her window, to her freestyling in the mirror, or with the dudes in the basement cypher at Arlene’s Grocery.

In some ways, the moral and artistic struggles of The Forty-Year-Old Version remind me of Hollywood Shuffle, Robert Townsend’s 1987 classic. RB:

I appreciate that you bring up Hollywood Shuffle, because I know that because I’m Black and I’m shooting in black and white, people always make the comparison to She’s Gotta Have It. But I feel like my film calls back to Hollywood Shuffle, about a Black artist confronting the white gatekeepers on who gets to tell a Black story and how.

Exactly. And like Townsend, you wrote, directed, and starred in your own first feature film. How was that experience, and do you think you would do it again? RB:

I wouldn’t say I regret being in my film, but I think that there’s probably more of a fascination with my film because I’m in it. And I have too much respect for actors to call myself one. I don’t come from training. I don’t sit in these auditions day after day. I don’t have to endure seven callbacks for a role. I just think that when an audience is familiar with a face, it might make it easier for them to go down the line with this person. So while I don’t plan on being in another one of my films, I do plan on mining my family legacy for storytelling, and on telling stories where music is a driving force.I really want to be an auteur. I’m hoping that my stories get quieter. Very quiet, but very potent. A slow burn, but such a beautiful payoff. I want to make work like that.

Amen.

Photographs:

Radha Blank on set, t & m

Radha Blank with her fellow cast members

[betterthebest]

Here We Go Again | An MJF Fanfiction

Status: *Not requested* Description: Bella was a teen wrestler working in the Indy circuit until an injury cost her her short career. She and MJF were friends turned lovers, turned strangers and friends again. What happens when she joins AEW to lead a faction with her ex? Will their history jeopardize their rekindled friendship?

A/N: This is an alternate universe (no covid :p) where MJF didn’t earn a spot in the inner circle. Hope you all enjoy my original story!

See also: (Part 1) ___________________________________________

Part 2 October 2020

Max called me out of the blue almost four years to the day we broke up. “I’m coming over, I have a plan.” He hung up before I could say anything. He came over with a plan, a contract, and Tony Khan. “You’re coming to AEW and we’re creating a faction,” Max grinned. “Wait, what?” I looked at him like he was crazy. This was the last thing that I thought would ever happen. “You heard me,” he held out a contract. I took the piece of paper in my hands and looked over at Tony. “Is this a prank?”  He laughed. “In two weeks, you’re coming out to Jacksonville. Put in your two weeks if you have a job” Tony said firmly. All three of us went over the plan. Being the leader of the faction is what convinced me to come back. I was apprehensive only cause I wouldn’t be able to wrestle. I went to work that night and did as Tony said. The next day Max came back to my house and we wrote out a promo. I had a talent for writing and any time I wrote a promo for myself, people loved it. I only did a few promos during my career since I’ve only been in one major company. We went over what I wrote three times that day. 

I had to rehearse for a few days at least to memorize. Two weeks passed and on that Monday, Max and I flew out to Florida. I ended up meeting with everyone I used to work with and it felt amazing. It was like time didn’t even pass with some of them. I ended up staying with Britt and Austin at their place. I didn’t want to intrude on them, but they both insisted I stay instead of paying for hotels. They were always the type of friends I could count on for anything. When Wednesday came, Britt and I drove to the arena. I prepared for the show by saying my promo to Britt to get her opinion. She loved it and said she was excited to hear it tonight. I dressed in black leggings and a black cropped long sleeve shirt. I changed out of my sneakers and borrowed black booties from Anna Jay in the locker room. She suggested I wear them. She’s the type of person that made anyone feel like a close friend. We talked by catering as the show went on. Later that night I met up with Max in the hallway before his match with Jericho. “You ready?” He said excitedly, trying to hype me up.  “I’m nervous, but I’m ready.” Millions of people were about to watch me live. The most I’ve talked to was an auditorium of 85 people. “You got this. Just focus on me, okay.” He placed his hand on my shoulder. He knew more than anyone that my anxiety could get the best of me. I nodded with a smile. “Oh and wear this.” He took a necklace out of his sweatpants pocket. It was the necklace he gave me for our six month anniversary. It had a single diamond on the chain. “You kept it.” I gave it back to him after we broke up. I wore it throughout our relationship, never taking it off until the day we broke up. “I did and I want you to have it back. I know we’re not together anymore, but you are my best friend.” I smiled a those words. He was still my best friend too and to hear him say that, made me so happy. I took the necklace from his hands and put it around my neck. “Looks great” Max said. He had to get ready to go to gorilla. He slipped his sweatpants off and tossed them onto a crate. “See you in 20 minutes,” he winked. I let out a chuckle and watched him walk away. I watched the match on a monitor in the back with a bunch of other people. My cue came when Max was about to hit his finisher. My music from 2016 played through the speakers. No one would recognize it besides Max which was the point. Max was distracted which caused him to lose. I stood on the ramp, arms across my chest. I got a mic from a stage hand. “Hi Maxwell, my love. Surprised to see me?” I paused, smirking. “You know, when I broke your heart...I felt nothing.” I chuckled. We wanted to pretend like our breakup was pure drama. I wanted to be seen just as heartless as his character is portrayed. “But now, looking at you in the ring, you look pathetic. I’m feeling very sorry” I said sarcastically. He stood up, Wardlow holding him up. “I have a proposition for you Maxwell.” I took small steps toward him. With my free hand I pushed my long black hair to my back. “I know you want to join a stable. We’ve worked so well together since we were 16.” I placed my hand over my heart. “Join me Maxwell, we’ll assemble a great team. Be my right hand man, what do you say?” He got a microphone. He pulled away from Wardlow and stepped outside the ropes, a couple feet from me. He leaned on the ropes before gaining his footing and takin a few steps forward. “On one condition.” He held up his finger. I nodded firmly. “We’re 50/50. You don’t control me, and I don’t control you. We both have a say in who is worthy to join. Deal?” He raised his brow at me waiting for my answer. I paused for a moment before answering. “50/50 you say?” He nodded and said yeah, but not into the mic. “You’ve got yourself a deal!” He smirked, “and Bella... Don’t interrupt my match again.” He was now inches from my face, bending slightly to look in my eyes. “You don’t control me,” I smirked. He nodded his head with a smirk of his own. Our foreheads touched. All of a sudden he grabbed the back of my head and went in for a kiss, but faked me out. I didn’t even pucker my lips. I was surprised since we didn’t go over that in our script. He walked away, laughing. Wardlow followed close behind. I turned and watched as he went up the ramp. The camera was behind me, closing in on the shot as that show faded to black. 

Once it ended, I went backstage running into Max’s arms. The adrenaline rush felt amazing. “That was awesome, I feel so alive.” He picked me up, spun me then put me back down on my feet.  “You were so good. I’m proud of you for getting back in the game.” “All thanks to you.” I smiled. We stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime. That faded when I heard Tony’s voice behind me. “Miss promo, that was great!” I turned around to see him and Cody.  “Glad you’re here” Cody shook my head. I had to control myself not to absolutely fangirl over him. I used to have a crush on Cody when I was 11. “Thank you. it felt amazing to finally do it after all my practice.” “I’m excited to see what you come up with next week,” Cody said and Tony nodded in agreement. Max put his arm around me, “she has a lot of ideas.” I looked up at him and smiled. He always knew how to make me feel important. He would go out of his way to lift my spirits whenever he could. And for the next few days Tony, Max and I consulted on the weeks to follow. Right now I have a year contract, but if all goes well I can sign more. I wanted that to happen for sure. I didn’t know what else I could do once this was over, but I tried not to think about it. I had to take it a week at a time and next week, I wanted to do something fun for the promo. I planned to find three pictures of Max and I when we were younger. One when we trained, one as close friends, and the last one during our relationship. “He’ll probably kill me, but it’s worth it,” I told Britt. I found the pictures on my phone in a backup folder from my old phones. I deleted a lot off of social media when we broke up. I deleted most of my wrestling pictures in a fit of rage one night. That was one of my regrets in life. It may seem small, but when wrestling is your life, it’s important.  I went back home to New York that Thursday night. Max drove me home where I still live with my family. “Wanna come in?” I asked Max before getting in the car. "Your food will get cold before you reach Long Island.” We picked up dinner on the way back. He laughed, “you’ve convinced me.” We got out of the car and got in the house through my separate entrance. We started eating right away, silence fell over us. He looked over at me when he finished. “Bold question,” he said out of the blue. “Go ahead,” I finished chewing my food. He never asked when he had a bold question, so this was odd.  “If we were to, you know, would that ruin things?” I swallowed hard. “Um, well it hasn’t ruined things before. We used to, you know at least once a week.” Max chuckled, “fair enough... But then again it took some years.” “But not because of that.” “Right, right.” We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. “Wanna do it?” He shrugged.  My eyes widened, “right now?” Max nodded, “I mean, we can wait.” “Sorry, I’m just shocked.” I let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t mind,” I said softly.  “Are you sure?” “Let’s go,” I stood up. Max stood, his eyes widened this time. “Really?” I walked towards my bed and sat on the edge. “You coming Friedman?” I don’t know what I was thinking. Is this a good idea? Probably not, but I wasn’t thinking with my brain. He most likely wasn’t either. He came over to me and took off his shirt. Seeing him with no shirt and sweats on did things to me. He reached out and grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. “I don’t have abs anymore,” I said softly. He ran his hands up and down my sides, “still perfect.” He bent his head and brushed his lips against mine before locking them together. It felt nice to kiss him again. His arms wrapped around my body and he lifted me a little to push me back on the bed. He broke the kiss, “I missed that.” “Me too,” I smiled. That night was amazing. Memories flooded back. It was like we hadn’t missed a beat. Our bodies just molded together perfectly. We laid in bed, wrapped in blankets. Max held me close, his body heat radiating off on me. He would kiss my shoulder randomly from time to time. I always loved when he did that. “That felt great,” he said for the third time causing me to giggle. “It really did.” He spent the night with me. We went again before falling asleep. I fell asleep right away while in his arms. I will never forget that night.

[tomakethisworldabetterplace]

푸른밤 : 140205/06

(Cr.) Translated by @BlueNight0525 - at twitter

Blue night, I'm Jonghyun 

In the old movie "The third man" the man confessed using these words: "I make comic faces and stand on my head and grin at you between my legs, and tell all sorts of jokes. I wouldn't stand a chance, would I?" Also in 'Scent of love' this is how the confession was like: “Under the subject of being a junior, if I said I like you, would you laugh?" The main characters in the movies use quite various ways to express their liking, but never plainly saying it. Sometimes pitifully, again sometimes making the people watching feel embarrassed too. What's strange is, whether the confession is followed by a happy ending or by a lonely sad ending, the memory of it would remain for a long time. Probably because of the thrill one would feel at the time. The excitement and thrill that remains in one’s memory for a long time, I’m experiencing it these days in this place.

The 5th of February, between today and tomorrow. This is Blue Night.

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Right before I got on air I was so hungry I ate a hotdog and a burrito in a hurry, because I was scared the mic might pick up the sound of my growling stomach, I came here after filling up my stomach. Everyone did you have a late night snack? If you eat right now then it’s considered a late night snack right? Since it’s past midnight.

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Listener: That’s right, I like the shivers you get just from the words “I like you”, especially if it’s conveyed by a voice it sends shivers and is more exciting.

Jonghyun: I’ve talked about that heart fluttering sensation in the opening. I’ve also been feeling that excitement for a few days too and it seems like I will keep feeling it in the next several days too. Encountering something new and also when experiencing something for the first time, you mainly feel excitement. A heart fluttering feeling. I think those feelings are quite precious to me. That’s why this time that consists of meeting you everyone is truly exciting and feels nice.

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Listener: Jonghyun DJ it’s been 3 days since you started as a DJ now. Did you get used to it now?

Jonghyun: I got adapted to it but I still get as nervous and excited as ever. Funny enough I’m a shy person so I think I’m someone who’ll do better tomorrow than I did today and much better the day after tomorrow than tomorrow. How is it everyone? Am I  doing a bit better than yesterday? How was it yesterday? Was it more alright than the first broadcast? I was worried about this to be honest.. In the morning.. no not the morning. I woke up in the afternoon, since I slept late, but when I woke up in the afternoon I listened to yesterday’s Blue Night.. but still it was... in comparison with the first night, I felt that the nervousness had decreased a bit. It was together with Lee Jihyung-ssi and he really accepted me and guided me really well. There’s a guest for today too, so I’m looking forward to them.

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Being alone is truly hard, just like how no child can run as soon as they were born, they’ll have to crawl at first, then get up, and lastly run. Everyone, I hope you can watch over me a little bit longer please.

Also there’s no female guest in Blue Night..  (pd whispers that there is one) Ah there’s one! PD-nim just told me right now. For me, honestly, I don’t really mind, whether it’s a male or a female guest, I just hope they are older than me and  that a lot of people who have a lot of things to teach me would be the guests here. I have a bit of interest in getting some counselling and learn a bit more.

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Corner: “places where music stays”

Taking the Camden town tube and traveling to north London again. This is North London, where a small street is located, Abbey Road. In front of the Abbey Road there’s Abbey Road Studios endorsing its same name. It’s where the pop music legends, The Beatles, recorded nearly all of their albums. Members of The Beatles, who were in the process of the last recording before disbanding, were worrying a lot about how to proceed with the album title and cover jacket picture. Furthermore the photographer was given only 10 minutes. After being pressed by the time, the photographer went straight out of the studio and took the scene of the members in Abbey Road. It was a normal picture with nothing special in it, however the power of The Beatles was great. The Beatles’ Abbey Road album was a huge success as soon as it came out. With more than 7 million copies sold in 1 year, it started bringing in tourists to Abbey Road. Ones who want to take a picture of them walking down the Abbey Road, just like The Beatles. Until now it’s still a dream that’s in the bucket list of so many music fans.

We just listened to The Beatles’ Golden Slumbers. It’s a song that was released in their album Abbey Road. A deep appeal, the voice is really nice. I really like it.

Today we talked about the Abbey Road studio and The Beatles. I also have some memories with Abbey Road Studios. I visited England as SHINee in 2011 and back then we had a chance of performing in Abbey Road Studios. But unfortunately.. My body is that of a healthy strong young man, but why did I only get a serious cold just when I went there.. Suffering from a high fever I remember not being able to finish the performances till the end. I think there were around 5-6 songs, but I was only able to participate in the last song. Back then I had a fever, was in a foreign country and my body was hurting too. That’s why I just started crying. If I’ll get another chance later on, I wanna visit there and perform again.

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Listener: I really like the “places where music stays” corner. It really feels like going on a vacation

Jonghyun: That’s right this corner is about us travelling together. In the future we will go to a lot of other places and will tell you about a lot of music stories, so I hope you can always listen to it.

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Listener: This is a broadcast that I listen to while studying and only today that I knew that the DJ changed. I haven’t listened much yet, but I like your modesty despite your young age. 

Jonghyun: Aigo thank you (laughs) You praised me for being humble (laughs) thank you. Since I’m young, I’m in a position to learn a lot. In the future I will continue to meet you with that appearance. Always.

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Jonghyun: 0279-Nim sent in : (Today the middle school teacher appointment examination results came out and my friend passed. However I couldn’t congratulate them, I still have another exam left. It’s a different exam, but seeing how my friend passed I’m feeling impatient. I’m really a bad person for not being to truly congratulate my friend, aren't I?) 

Ah and also 2234-nim sent in: (Today the employment examination results came out, I’ve been preparing for 3 years for it, but I failed. I feel really gloomy) is what they sent...

Just like the messages said today, the successful candidates for the middle school teacher appointment examination were announced today right? Some of you have yelled out cheering and some have shed tears. However I feel like that under our country’s system it’s like there’s always a lot of sad people. Of course I haven’t experienced all of that but I can understand those feelings a bit. When I was a trainee with no promises, without knowing when will it end, and seeing trainees I was together with, debut or when they show a really good performance… I  think I felt the same thing you’re feeling right now. To the people who passed I hope you can really enjoy that feeling of happiness today. You deserve that, don’t you? Since you studied hard and put effort into it. However don’t forget the fact that one of your friends, who studied together with you, is very sad today. Um..Then for you today I will console you first, then later play a congratulatory song. We will listen to ..

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Jonghyun: Today our Blue Night family is really having a hard time.. 5872-nim sent in: (I too failed, thank you for comforting me.) Of course I should give you comfort. When there’s a happy event, we’ll smile together, when you’re having a hard time, we will cry together, when there’s something to be angry over, we’ll get angry together. Since I’m right here, please send in a lot of your stories. (to a listener) Ah, it must’ve been really hard for you... Just like in movies, there’re good days, but just like in movies too, there’re sad days too.. Since today is a hard day, just like in movies, there will soon be just as much of a good day.. I hope you will find strength and that you’ll find comfort listening to Blue Night.

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Listener message: I’m graduating high school tomorrow, I’m feeling restless that I’m now an adult. 

Jonghyun: How restless you must be;; Graduating high school tomorrow.. from elementary school to middle school, and now high school, and also from high school to now having to take one step further to society. When I was like that I thought that I can everything now (laughs) I was around 20 years old, when I graduated high school, and I thought now I can do everything! I think it’s best to feel these things slowly. I think it’s best to put on a small plan and do things one and two at a time. When I was 20 years old, I wanted to do so many things, but I ended up not experiencing them all, and after time flies by, it become such a shame. I hope you can experience it all.

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Listener: I’m writing my resume while listening to Blue Night right now. Since it got cold, it’s a tough time. I hope I’ll succeed with the resume I’m writing right now.

Jonghyun: I hope you will get a good result. Oh, talking about your resume. Wouldn't be more captivating if you wrote something more unique than others, like writing that your hobby is listening to Blue Night?! (laughs) Wouldn’t it turn eyes, if you write Blue Night? I’m just kidding, try writing something unique on your resume~~

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Dialogue from "The three sisters":

The time will come when we will be gone forever, we will be forgotten. Our faces, our voices, and even how many of us there were. But our suffering will be transformed into happiness for those who live after us. Peace and contentment will cover the earth, my dearest sisters, our live is still not finished. We will go on living.

"Today, aside" is a dialogue, that comes on Anton Chekhov’s play "The three sisters". It’s a piece of work that shows how frustrating it becomes, when people’s dreams and hopes crash with the circumstances or the surrounding reality in our society. I said this earlier, but today the entrance exam’s successful candidates were announced. There seemed to have been a lot of disappointed people. I wanted to relay these lines to them. The world isn’t over yet, tomorrow will come again. Today’s ending song.. I’m presenting it to the ones who were disappointed by the results and the ones who were happy with them. To all of the youths of this earth, it’s Radiohead’s Creep. Until now, this has been Blue Night Jonghyun.  

Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17fjccKlF5Y&list=PLKl0KJ7mGLDNmETrFMIbxpVV72bNPMYz-

(Cr.) List by @bluenighttonight - on twitter + playlist by me on youtube

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Nigerian Job

(PART ONE)

leverage 1.01

note: there are A LOT of scenes in this one, but they are all important in one way or another in terms of notability, character-building, etc

Dubenich: I’m sorry Mr. Ford, sorry, I know who you are I’ve, uh, excuse me. I’ve read all about you. I know for example that-that when you found that stolen Monet painting in Florence you probably saved your Insurance Company what 20-25 million dollars. Then there was that identity theft thing and you saved your insurance company I don’t even know how many millions of dollars but I just know that when you needed them… What happened to your family is the kind of thing--

Nate (slams glass down): You know that part of the conversation where I punch you in the neck nine or ten times? We’re coming up on that pretty quick.

- - - - -

Dubenich: I’m serious. Look, look at the people I’ve already hired. Do you recognize any of these names?

Nate (going through file): Uh, yeah, I’ve chased all of them at one time or anoth-- Parker? You have Parker?

Dubenich: Is there somebody better?

Nate: No, but Parker is insane.

Dubenich: Which is why I need you.

Nate (laughs): No. I’m not a thief. (closes file)

Dubenich: Thieves I got. What I need is one honest man to watch them.

- - - - -

Hardison: I’ve been doing this since high school, bro, I’m Captain Discipline.

[Flashback]

(New York City Hotel, Five Years Ago)

Manager: They came straight from the airport and up to their room.

Security: So you never actually saw any of them then.

Manager: No, but the credit card numbers checked out.

Security: Break it down!

(Doors open to reveal Hardison sitting on a couch drinking orange soda while three beautiful women dressed as Princess Leia fight with lightsabers)

Security: Does that look like Mick Jagger to you?

Hardison: This is not the room you’re looking for.

what a fucking GEEK oh my god

like, his flashback is so tame compared to the others???

like, his version of criminality is hanging out with cosplaying pretty girls and watching them fight with lightsabers, all under the guise of pretending to be mick jagger

- - - - -

Hardison (holding up an earpiece): It’s a bone-conduction earpiece mic, works off the vibrations in your jaw.

(Hardison tosses it to Eliot who holds it to his ear)

Hardison (whispering): You can hear everything.

Eliot: You’re not as useless as you look.

eliot being subtly impressed with hardison is my religion

- - - - -

Hardison: I don’t even know what you do.

[Flashback]

(3 Years Ago Eliot, wearing glasses and drinking from a mug of tea, enters a room full of men in Belgrade, Serbia)

Eliot: I’m here to collect the merchandise.

(Most of the men pull guns. Eliot takes a long sip of his drink. Outside, the windows flash with gunfire. Moans and the sound of a body falling fill the air. Inside, Eliot calmly takes another drink. One man sits at a table surrounded by bodies that litter the ground. He places a baseball card on the table. Eliot smiles)

am I the only one that wants to know the context of this???

- - - - -

(Parker drops down between Eliot and Hardison, hanging upside down from scaffolding)

Parker: Can I have one?

Hardison: You can have the whole box.

(Hardison holds the box of comms up for her. She takes one and pulls herself back up)

Eliot: What are you going to do when she finds out you live with your mom?

Hardison: Age of the geek, baby. We run the world.

Eliot: You keep telling yourself that.

(Parker puts the comm in her ear, smiling)

ot3 moments from day one baby

also eliot goes from ‘baby’ to ‘oh god, I’m baby’ in 0.0000005 seconds

- - - - -

[Flashback]

(19 Years Ago in Kansas City, a ten year old Parker stands in her living room watching her foster parents fight. The foster father turns to Parker, holding a stuffed bunny while the foster mother stands in the background, crying)

Bill: You thought I wouldn’t find this? You don’t get bunny until you do what I say. So be a good girl or, I don’t know, a better thief. (walks out of room)

Foster Mother: Bill!

(Parker walks outside and down the walk. Behind her, the house explodes. She hugs her bunny and smiles)

for the LONGEST time I thought she blew up the house with her foster parents until I saw that john rogers confirmed they weren’t home at the time

also this gives HEAVY insight as to how even the smallest part of Parker’s childhood was

abusive, emotionally manipulative, etc

- - - - -

(Parker adjusts her repelling gear, caressing it as if it were a lover)

Parker: Last time I used this rig, Paris, 2003

Nate: You talking about the Caravaggio? You stole that?

- - - - -

Eliot (examining earpiece): Is this thing safe?

Hardison: Yeah, it’s completely safe, it’s just, you know, you might experience nausea, weakness in your right side, stroke, strokiness.

Eliot (puts earpiece in): You’re precisely why I work alone.

shut up eliot you’re about to be so far gone for them it will be amazing

- - - - -

(Parker dives off the roof)

Parker: Yeehaaaa!!

(Eliot and Hardison run to the edge and watch her fall)

Eliot: That’s twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag.

what’s the opposite of foreshadowing? because I’m thinking about the long goodbye job and it’s reference to this (also the SIGNIFICANCE in that episode in how both hardison AND eliot repeat this line, finishing one another. because they both are on the same wavelength by that point, so in tune with one another and in constant awe of parker.)

- - - - -

parker just ??? drops the fucking glass ??? onto the sidewalk below ??? like ??? what if it hits someone ???

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, you got any chatter on their frequencies?

[Electrical Room]

Parker: No. Why?

[Unfinished Office]

(Nate checks records)

Nate: There’s eight listed on the duty roster, there’s only four at the guard post.

[Electrical Room]

Parker: I can’t even tell how many guys are in the room. How can you tell who’s who?

[Unfinished Office]

Nate: Haircuts Parker. Count the haircuts.

[Electrical Room]

Parker: I would have missed that.

[Unfinished Office]

Nate: What?

[Electrical Room]

Parker: Nothing.

mastermind father and daughter in episode ONE

- - - - -

we love to see eliot beat up four guys in the time it takes hardison’s bag to fall to the ground

- - - - -

Eliot (empties gun and smiles): That’s what I do.

(Hardison looks impressed. Behind him, the door clicks open. He and Eliot smile and enter the server room together)

the FLIRTING ENERGY in this scene

- - - - -

Eliot: Did you give them a virus?

Hardison: (chuckles) Dude, I gave them more than one virus.

hardison doesn’t half-ass, pass it on

- - - - -

Parker: Problem. Those guards you ganked?

[Electrical Room]

Parker (looking at monitor): They reset all the alarms on the roof and all the floors above us. We can’t go up.

[Hallway]

Eliot: Every man for himself then. (starts to move away)

Hardison: Go ahead I’m the one with the merchandise.

[Electrical Room]

Parker: Yeah, well I’m the one with an exit.

[Unfinished Office]

Nate: And I’m the one with a plan. Now I know you children don’t play well with others but I need you to hold it together for exactly seven more minutes. Now get to the elevator and head down. We’re going to the burn scam.

[Elevator]

(Eliot and Hardison enter an elevator and begin changing their clothes)

Hardison: Going to Plan B.

[Unfinished Office]

Nate (packing his things): Technically that would be Plan G.

[Elevator]

(elevator doors open and Parker runs in. She begins changing while the men look away)

Hardison: How many plans do we have? Is there like a Plan M?

[Unfinished Office]

Nate: Yeah, Hardison dies in Plan M.

[Elevator]

Eliot: I like Plan M.

there are SO MANY things about this scene I want to discuss but here are the top ones:

1- nate calling them out as children? amazing

2- eliot and hardison canonically changed in the elevator together BEFORE parker dropped in, but they weren’t necessarily looking away in a backs-turned way when she came in (when they were still getting finished getting dressed)

3- parker being completely nonchalant changing with two men in the elevator? she must not really care about being naked in front of other people (as seen later in what I think is the morning after job (?), for example)

4- the boys look away to be polite but there is definitely interest in BOTH of their faces

5- so this is what the burn scam entails

- - - - -

parker takes shotgun while the two boys are in the back. I need to see the scene of them awkwardly sitting together in the back. possibly bickering.

- - - - -

Nate: All right, all right. The money will be in all your accounts later today.

Hardison: Anybody else notice how hard we rocked last night?

Eliot: Yeah, well, one show only, no encores.

Parker: I already forgot your names.

Hardison: It was kind of cool, being on the same side.

Nate: No, we are not on the same side. I am not a thief.

Parker: You are now. Come on Nathan, tell the truth. Didn’t you have a little bit of fun playing the Black King instead of the White Knight, just this once?

(they all walk away in different directions)

smh you’re all 0.000005 seconds away from becoming a family

“no encores” my ass

+ I love how hardison is the FIRST one to (immediately) bring up how awesome they worked as a team

- - - - -

(Nate walks slowly down a toward a large room where voices are coming from)

Hardison (holding gun): You mind telling me what happened to the designs?

Eliot: What makes you think I know what happened? Stupid.

Hardison: Look, forget you man. You did it when we were coming down from the elevator.

Eliot: Yeah, that makes sense doesn’t it? You had the file every second.

Hardison: Hold up Kujo, I did my part, I transferred the files.

Eliot: You better get that gun out of my face...

Hardison: What did you do?

Eliot: …or else I’m gonna feed it to you.

Nate: Hey!

(the men turn, Hardison pointing the gun at Nate)

Eliot: Did you do it? You’re the only one that’s ever played both sides.

Nate: Yeah, you seem pretty relaxed for a guy with a gun pointed at him.

Eliot (looks at Hardison): Safety’s on.

Hardison: Like I’m gonna fall for that.

Nate: No, no, actually he’s right, the safety is on.

(Hardison looks at the gun and Nate grabs it)

Nate (to Eliot): You armed?

Eliot (shakes head): I don’t like guns.

(Eliot looks pointedly past Nate’s shoulder. Nate turns, pointing the gun at Parker who is holding a gun on him)

Parker: My money’s not in my account.

(She walks around Hardison, raising her gun as Nate lowers his)

Parker: That makes me cry inside in my special, angry place.

Nate: Okay, Parker. (slowly reaches out to lower Parker’s gun) Now did you come here to get paid?

Hardison: Hell no. Transfer of funds man. Global economy.

Eliot: It’s supposed to be a walk away. I’m never supposed to see you again.

eliot could have IMMEDIATELY taken the gun away but it made hardison feel safe so he was humoring him

and how easily nate took the gun away? interesting, for a former insurance agent

“you armed?” “no, I don’t like guns” eliot sweetie I love you

also parker’s entrance tho

- - - - -

Nate: Then the only reason you guys are here is because you didn’t get paid. And you’re pissed off. (laughs) As a matter of fact the only way to get us all in the same place at the same time is to tell us that we’re not. Getting. Paid.

(a look of realization goes through the group and they all start to run. Nate opens a garage door and directs them out. Hardison trips on the stairs and Eliot pulls him to his feet)

Nate: Come on, come on, get up. Let’s go, hustle. Go.

(the others exit and Nate looks back to see a ball of fire headed toward him)

eliot: I hate you all, I work alone, I don’t care about any of you

eliot 0.000005 seconds later: hauling hardison off the ground so he doesn’t die in an exploding building because ‘I guess he’s by boyfriend now’

- - - - -

Nate: Have we been processed?

(Eliot waves ink covered finger tips at him)

Eliot: They faxed our prints to the State Police.

[Hospital Room B]

Hardison: Yo, if the staties run us man, we’re screwed.

Parker: How long?

Hardison: Thirty, thirty-five minutes depending on the software

- - - - -

Nate: Parker! Get me a phone. What we’re going to do is, we’re going to get out of here together.

Eliot: This was a onetime deal.

Nate: Look guys, here’s your problem. You all know what you can do, I know what all you can do, so that gives me the edge, gives me the plan.

[Hospital Room B]

Parker: I don’t trust these guys.

[Hospital Room A]

Nate: Do you trust me?

Eliot: Of course. You’re an honest man.

Nate: Parker, Phone.

[Hospital Room B]

Parker: This is gonna suck.

(she sticks her fingers down her throat and bends over)

Hardison: Oh. Hell no

the amount of times eliot brings up that it was supposed to be a one-time thing is HILARIOUS considering just how fast he imprints on them lmfao

also how they all immediately trust him, I’m soft

- - - - -

(Parker nods compliantly. The doctor and nurse leave the room. Officer checks her handcuffs then leaves. Parker and Hardison hold up the phones they stole. After a quick glance, they switch phones. Parker holds up the keys she stole and tosses them to Hardison before standing up and talking to the vent into the next room)

domestic pardison

- - - - -

(Hardison leads Eliot to a police cruiser that Nate and Parker are already inside of. As Hardison guides Eliot into the backseat he hits Eliot head on the top of the door frame. Eliot turns and growls at Hardison)

Hardison: Walk it off. Walk… get inside. Get inside.

(Eliot gets in the car)

I love chaotic (pre)boyfriends

- - - - -

Eliot: I’m gonna beat Dubenich so bad that even the people who look like him are gonna bleed.

Parker: You won’t get within 100 yards. He knows your face. He knows all our faces.

Eliot: He tried to kill us.

Parker: More importantly he didn’t pay us.

Eliot: How is that more important?

Parker: I take that personally.

Eliot: There’s something wrong with you.

okay to be fair eliot at least is open to and listens to parker’s reasoning before concluding she’s crazy

- - - - -

Eliot: What’s in it for me?

Nate: Payback, and if it goes right a lot of money.

Parker: What’s in it for me?

Nate: A lot of money, and if it goes right, payback. Hardison?

Hardison: I was just gonna send a thousand porno magazines to his office, but, hell yeah man, let’s kick him up.

these characterizations are so on point

- - - - -

SOPHIE’S INTRO LMFAO

+ how everyone else is horrified but nate just looks entranced

- - - - -

[Flashback]

(In Paris seven years ago, Sophie is cutting a painting out of a frame with several empty frames nearby. The door burst open and Nate enters with a gun in hand)

Nate: Freeze.

(Sophie grabs her gun and shoots Nate in the shoulder. He responds by shooting her in the back. They both clench at their wounds)

Sophie: You wanker!

so are we, as a fandom, EVER going to talk about this scene ???

- - - - -

(so apparently there’s a 250 text block limit for posts on tumblr so I guess I have to make more than one post for this now. the following part will be reblogged on this post immediately after. reblog that version instead please lol)

[silveraccent]

A Whale of a Time || Grace & Skylar

TIMING: 8/16/20. LOCATION: Angelique’s Aquatic Adventure PARTIES: @theskyeandsea​ @silveraccent​ SUMMARY: The need for fresh air causes for an unlikely friendship, not without the offering of ginger candies and some ASL lessons. 

After her encounters with Dave, Skylar had come to the conclusion that... if there was another selkie in town, it might be in her best interest to try and familiarize herself with the ocean waters around the town. Because there was no way she was going to try and swim around-- seal or not, she just didn’t feel up to trying to get into the ocean right now-- she found herself clinging to the plastic seat of the amphibious tour bus of Angelique’s Aquatic Adventure for dear life. As the cheery tour guide spoke into the mic system, Skylar did her best to steady herself as the bus slid into the water from the pier. As the water splashed around them, she instinctively shied closer to the interior of the boat, hands ready to protect her hearing aids if a rogue wave splashed them. Oh… this was such a mistake. This was such a bad idea. Skylar stared miserably out at the ocean, doing her best to drown out the sense of dread and overwhelming fear that was creeping up on her as the tour guide continued to chatter away about the whales that could be seen along the coast.

Angelique's Aquatic Adventure had been suggested to Grace in passing, and while it was associated with her rant about whales, and how they could swallow humans whole if they truly wanted to, she hadn’t really thought that she would take the plunge, both metaphorically and literally. With nothing to do for the day however, Grace found herself clinging to the seat in front of her, fingers looped around the metal. Grace wasn’t afraid of the ocean, far from it, but there was something about a truck of some sort turning into a boat that had left her uneasy. Grace felt pangs of nervousness and excitement from everybody on board, and she began to wonder if this had been a good idea-- surrounding herself with the varying emotions, it was only bound to make her anxious. Her seatmate, however, exerted only existential dread. Grace couldn’t quite focus on her, and her alone, but in an effort to make her feel better-- and herself, if she were being honest, Grace leaned forward, “are you okay?” She asked, eyes filled with worry. 

Mmmmmm, just focus on the horizon line. Yup, just focus on the skyline and not the fact there were hundreds of millions of gallons of saltwater that could rear up and splash her hearing aids at any moment. Skylar felt her stomach flip flop as she tried to push the thoughts from her mind. She should have never come here. Or, at the very least, she should have brought her case with her. Even if she couldn’t hear well, they’d be safer. The sound of a woman’s voice caught her attention and she realized her seatmate was talking to her. “Oh-- I’m sorry-- um--” She stammered, trying to collect herself enough to reply. Offering a strained smile, Skylar nodded. “I’m okay! Just, just seasick.” She lied, though her stomach continued to clench. Was she actually seasick on top of all this? That’d be just her luck… she would be a selkie who could get sea sick. 

It was hard for Grace to put aside the anxiety that was boiling in her stomach, and mixed with the excitement of the other people onboard? She bit down onto the inside of her cheek as she watched the girl next to her, gaze unwavered. “Oh,” she said after the woman answered. Grace could understand-- Renee got seasick a lot too, and she often had to rub circles into her friend’s back the entirety of their trips. Grace maneuvered her bag around, fishing out a ginger candy. “Here,” she said and handed it over. “I always bring these, just in case.” It was better than dramamine, she guessed. “It’s ginger, it should help with the queasiness,” she smiled at the girl. Maybe it was selfish, but Grace surely did not want to be covered in somebody else’s bile. 

A bit surprised when the woman began to rummage around in her bag, Skylar tilted her head in confusion when she handed her a wrapped up piece of candy. That was so sweet of her to offer-- but, eating the candy would only make her feel actually sick to her stomach. She couldn’t handle the sugary sweetness, she never had been. Her entirely meat based diet was selkie thing, she’d learned that early on when she’d first met Winston and Ricky. Stomach flip flopping, she nodded all the same. “Thank you. I think it’s passing, but I’ll keep it in case I need it later.” She said with a polite nod before glancing out at the ocean around them once more. A fresh wave of panic and fear washed over her and she did her best to try and steady herself. This was such a mistake.

Grace smiled at her when she took the candy. At the very least, maybe it’d help a little later down the line. The woman says she’s feeling better, but Grace is unable to tell if it’s a lie or not. She took a candy out for herself and popped it into her mouth. Just in case. Grace wasn’t much of a talker, never had been, but she knew that distractions were better than being left to focus on what was currently happening. Grace cleared her throat and looked out to the water before looking back to her neighbor, “I’m Grace, by the way.” She smiled at her, not sure what else to say. She rubbed her palms against the front of her jeans. “I’m new here, so this-- this is pretty cool, I’ve never been on anything like this” Grace tried as she offered a sheepish smile. 

The cresting waves, the white caps, the endless expanse of ocean. Mmmmm, no no no. As the woman introduced herself, Skylar was honestly grateful for the distraction. While she wouldn’t normally just talk to strangers, having something else to focus on was so much better than dwelling on the fact that she was surrounded by the ocean. When Grace mentioned she was new in town, some of the tension eased from Skylar’s shoulders. “You’re new? Welcome to White Crest. I’ve only lived here for a year, but it’s, it’s a nice place.” She said with a smile before extending her hand. “I’m Skylar.” A particularly strong wave rocked the side of the boat and she swallowed nervously. “What brought you to White Crest? School?” She asked. The other woman looked around her age-- maybe she was a grad student?

“Skylar? Nice to meet you.” Grace grinned as she shook the girl’s hand. At least she had a name for her, she looked like she would keel over any second from the waves. “It’s a nice place, yeah.” Grace shifted in her seat as she turned to look at Skylar properly. “No, not school.” She felt like she was talking too loud to be heard over the man up front who was giving the tour-- it felt a little rude, but there were others talking, too. “I moved here for work.” Grace knew that mentioning she worked at the morgue could rub others the wrong way, but she never bothered with hiding her profession, “I work at the morgue.” Grace tilted her head. “And you? Are you in school?” She wondered if maybe people her age only came to White Crest for school, then left shortly thereafter. 

“Oh really? Me too, actually.” Skylar said with a nod, grateful that they had something to talk about, some common ground to discuss. “I work with the school district. I’m a sign language interpreter.” She said, signing briefly as she spoke. “So… in a way I’m here for school.” Skylar offered a weak grin. The slight attempt was humor was all she could muster right now when she was surrounded by water on all sides. “The morgue..? Oh, do you know a Dr. Kavanaugh?” She asked, thinking back to the woman that had inexplicably stolen Winston’s name all those months ago. Had it really been that long? “I think she works there, I don’t know for sure, though.” She said, with a shrug. 

“Oh!” Grace watched as Skylar spoke, and then lifted her hands to sign out the words she was saying. In high school, Renee had tried to get Grace to sign up for German, but she had insisted on taking ASL instead. She could pick up some of the telltale signs, but the remaining of what was signed was lost on her-- only able to be understood by the words leaving Skylar’s lips. “That’s cool,” she said, and she meant it. She liked it when people did things to help other people, it made them more approachable, in a sense. Grace made a silent note to make sure that she was faced towards Skylar when she spoke, just in case it was too loud-- or so that she could have a full view of her lips. “I do, yeah. She’s my boss!” She smiled at Skylar and wondered why she knew her. “How do you know her?” She wondered what Skylar would need to do with the morgue. 

“Ah-- thanks. It’s um, it’s just something that comes easily to me.” Skylar said as she tucked her hair behind her ears, showing the other woman the bright blue hearing aids before letting her hair fall back to cover them. “I grew up relying on interpreters before I got my hearing aids, so I wanted to give back, you know? And there are lots of kids out there who are fully deaf who still deserve the ability to have a normal school experience.” She rambled. It was easier to talk about sign language and being hard of hearing than it was to think about where she was or the push of the waves against the car-boat that they were sitting in. “She is? Oh-- I only know her because of the town’s online messaging system. She seems nice, though.” If she ignored the fact that Dr. Kavanagh was some kind of fae and had stolen Winston’s name…

Out of all the people Grace had met in White Crest, she hadn’t found herself impressed with many-- they were faces in the crowd, people to be respected, but Skylar seemed good, and she saw a part of Renee in her, and she felt her heart swell. “That’s cool, no--” She smiled at her, “I really admire that.” Grace wasn’t lying, “would you be willing to teach me? I can pay you, in your free time.” It was absurd, but Grace didn’t have a lot going on outside of work, and while this was somebody she just met-- “Or is that weird?” she laughed. Grace forgot about the messaging system-- truthfully, she couldn’t recall the number of people she had spoken to already, just that there was one older guy who really hated mimes and cheese puffs. “Right, that’s right.” She nodded as she looked over her shoulder at the sudden pointed finger of their tour guide, but didn’t see what all of the excitement was about. “She is nice, serious, but nice.” 

“Thank you.” Skylar said quietly, a little flustered by the compliment. “It’s just a job. Oh--” Blinking in surprise, she let out a small laugh. “I actually have a side job as a tutor, so it’s definitely not weird. I used to have fliers posted up around town, but the school year got a little busy for me, so I didn’t have the chance to put more up.” She said. Mhm, the school year. Not the fact she’d been attacked, not the fact that she’d been hunted, not the fact that she’d seen things she wished she could unsee. Just the school year. “It’s an interesting online system, isn’t it? I’ve made some nice friends though it, though. I never would expected that.” She said. As the tour guide pointed over the edge, Skylar’s eyes drifted to follow and she saw them. A pod of harbor seals, lounging on some rocks in the middle of the ocean. Dark eyes, sleek coats. So similar to her own. “Ah… Look, seals.” She said, the slightly ill feeling returning. 

“Oh, cool!” Grace clasped her hands together in her lap. Growing up, Grace had been told that if somebody was in danger, or anxious to any degree, it was best to keep them talking that way they didn’t focus on what was making them upset. It seemed like it was working with Skylar, as their conversation was a good distraction. “It is, I didn’t really expect to use it so much, but when I get bored, I find myself on there a lot more than not… it’s almost better than texting.” She laughed as she looked out to the water, “I guess they’re everywhere, here, huh?” The excitement from those around them shrouded whatever it was that Skylar had started to feel again, so it was lost on Grace. “Do you go on these things often? Or is this your first time?” 

“Mhm, right? I’ll go online when I’m free and it’s been really nice to connect with people who I wouldn’t have ever met before. I mean, most of my friends, I bumped into them around town. But, since most of us are online, being able to message each other is easy. Cell service gets a little weird around town sometimes.” Skylar said, thinking back to when she’d been trapped in Board to Death with Leah, unable to contact the outside world. But, the messaging system hadn’t worked there either. As the seals made loud barking noises, Skylar pulled her eyes away from them, focusing instead on the railing of the boat thing. She could pretend to stare at them and no one had to know any better. “Ah, no. I’m not actually a fan of the ocean. But, um, I thought something like this might be a good way of facing my fears.” She said with a slight shrug. “Did you come here for sightseeing? To, um, get to know the town a bit better?”

“It does, I noticed that,” Grace nodded, realizing that there were times when she was unable to connect at all. She had great reception in Portland, but maybe White Crest was a little different. She turned slightly in her seat to look at the seals, watching as they sunbathed. She wondered what it would be like to just sit there, doing nothing all day. When Skylar began to speak, she turned her attention back to her neighbor. She had to admit, it seemed like those types of things worked-- immersing yourself in your own fear, but Grace could’ve never of done that. She was terrified of a lot of things, but she never saw it in herself to go after her own fears. “That’s a good idea, maybe I’ll take a page out of your book.” She props her elbow up on the railing of the boat and nods, “you could say that, yeah!” The smell of the ocean curled around her nose and the sound of the seals, as well as the voice of the tourguide up front, was giving her an introduction to White Crest that she didn’t think she’d get, “I guess the ocean, too? I don’t know, this place has a lot to offer, so I figured…” Grace smiled, “it’s better than looking up things online, right?”

“Mhm. I only just now started doing things like that, so there’s nothing wrong with taking your time with these sort of things.” Skylar added as she stared blankly at the railing, hoping that it seemed as though she was looking at the seals. She couldn’t-- she didn’t want to see them. She’d come this far, she’d forced herself to sit on this boat, she’d even talked to someone new. All things she wouldn’t do under any kind of normal circumstances. “Ah, yeah, there’s a lot to do here. It’s a little surprising, honestly.” She said with a nod. “I don’t know what sort of things you like, but there are a lot of really neat places around town. Coffee Plus is a good place if you ever want to read in peace. If you like arcade games, Quarter is a fun time. And, um, Tower Music and Comics has a good selection of comic books and visual novels. People tell me their music selection is nice too.” Skylar rambled. Meanwhile, the boat began to drift away from the seals, turning back to shore. 

The ginger candy sat at the side of Grace’s mouth as she bit into it, shards of the sugar splintering. She swallowed the remnants as she continued to look out at the seals, “There are a lot of things to do, you’re right.” She looked back to Skylar, “I’ve been to Coffee Plus! They make a really good London fog, and--” Grace lit up at the sound of an arcade, she hadn’t been there yet. “I haven’t been to Quarter yet, I’ll have to check that out.” In Portland, Grace had taken to the arcades as a form of stress relief. Whether or not she was actually good at any of the games, that was another story. Grace was glad that she had decided to go on the tour, because without it, she wouldn’t have met somebody who was giving her ways to fill the boredom she felt in the middle of the day when she wasn’t at work. “Thank you for the suggestions, I appreciate it!” Grace smiled at Skylar as she looked to the sea, the boat turned in the direction of the shore. A part of her was disappointed that it had ended already. Maybe if Grace were different, she’d ask Skylar out to coffee as a new found friend type of thing, but instead, “If you have time for the whole tutoring thing, I’d love to do it, but no pressure.” Grace said as she shifted in her seat so that Skylar could see her lips entirely. 

“Mhm, I usually just go for the coffee, but the baristas there really know what they’re doing.” Skylar said as she watched a few seals slip off the rock and into the ocean. They were moving behind the boat, following behind them. Why? She had no idea. But, soon they would be back on land and she’d never have to do this again. “Of course. I remember moving here and just wandering around aimlessly, not really knowing what there was. You’ll have to let me know how you like Quarter, though, if you check it out. It’s pretty loud, what with all the pinball machines, but it’s a fun place.” She said with a slight smile, her most recent trip with Rio a bright spot in the last few weeks. “Ah! Yes, of course. Um, here,” She said, pulling out her phone and pulling up her information. “You can text me, or message me on the town site. I’d be more than happy to tutor you.” Skylar nodded.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one wandering around aimlessly, then.” Grace grinned at Skylar as she looked at the waves rock against the boat as it moved back towards the shore. “I’ll let you know, for sure!” Grace was bad at video games, but she was willing to give it a try. Grace watched as Skylar fished out her phone, smile still tugging at the corners of her lips as she took out her own, punching in the information that was reflected on Skylar’s phone. Sending her a quick text to make sure she copied the information correctly, she straightens up in her seat. “Thank you, I appreciate it-- don’t worry about it if you’re busy, just… whenever.” Grace smiled at her before holding onto the railing as the boat started to move back onto the shore. “It looks like it’s over,” Grace said with a small frown as she looked over to Skylar. “Are you feeling better?” 

Skylar’s phone buzzed in her hand and she added Grace’s information into her contacts. “Awesome, just got your information.” She said and offered as genuine a smile as she could muster to the other woman. Noticing the way that she seemed to hesitate, as though it was an inconvenience to her, Skylar shook her head. “Please, don’t even worry. I’m on summer vacation until September, so I’ve got a lot of free time. And, if you decide to continue lessons when school’s back in session, I’d be more than happy to move things around.” She said with a nod. As the boat came to a stop and the tour guides began to get the loading ramp set up against the pier, the tension slowly eased from Skylar’s shoulder and she nodded once more. “I’m feeling a lot better, mhm. Thanks.” She said, and was a little surprised that she really meant it. The oceanic tour had been the last place Skylar thought she would make a new friend-- or, at the very least, meet another friendly face. As she looked out over the side of the boat, Skylar caught sight of a seal staring intently at the boat, its dark eyes unblinking. She turned her back to the ocean, a more determined smile on her face. Silver linings, she’d taken them where she could get them.

“If you’re sure,” Grace smiled at her. She needed a hobby outside of work, and… whatever this was, because she was sure there’d be no tours during the winter months, and she was sure she’d be holed up in her apartment. What better way to do so than to be learning something new? The voice in her head told her that she was making the right choice by branching out, even if it wasn’t in the most… traditional of ways. “I won’t take up too much of your time, I promise.” She looked over the boat’s edge as they shifted back onto the asphalt, and the way it dragged against it was harsh compared to the way it glided across the water. “That’s good to hear, I’m glad you didn’t get sick.” Grace grabbed her bag, tucking it to her chest. She was glad that she had decided to branch out, despite being so adamant about not doing so-- she met somebody who seemed kind and generous, and Grace had always been drawn to those type of people, and if she was being honest, she felt a bit sad parting ways, but the town was small, and she had Skylar’s number. The idea of making friends laid a little lighter on her shoulders as she left the boat, towards her car.

[tombugg92]

Wiley - Godfather III

I thought I should start this by giving a short intro to Wiley. Widely accredited by fans and artists as a pioneer of the Grime scene, it would be impossible to overstate the impact he’s made in Grime, in fact it would be impossible to overstate the importance that he’s made to UK music in general. Starting off as a member of Pay As U Go Wiley first began his life in UK Garage, eventually as Pay As U Go disbanded Wiley went on to form Roll Deep, containing Dizzee Rascal, Tinchy Stryder and many more. This was where we really started to hear an evolution of the UK Garage sound and things started to sound more like the Grime that we came to know and love. It’s certainly not just Wiley who thinks he’s the “Godfather,” not many in the scene would argue that, but he’s certainly not going to let you forget it. 

A lot of newer fans were put off with last years altercations with just about anyone who makes any music, after Wiley was widely publicised to have labelled Drake as a “pagan,” and Ed Sheeran as a “culture vulture,” before taking a much more direct approach with Stormzy, firstly sending very direct tweets on Twitter before the pair released a few tracks which must have been absolutely shocking if you hadn’t grown up watching Lord of the Mics. I think people who have been listening to the scene since the Rinse FM days will have attributed this behaviour as just clever marketing, I know I was expecting this album long before it came. This marketing is tried and tested and it works, it was certainly successful for Wiley, exposing himself to a whole host of people who’s entry point to this whole genre was Stormzy. I heard people talking about the tracks everywhere, at work, in bars, in fact I even got into an argument with my barber over who we thought took each round (word of warning kids, don’t start an argument with your barber). 

Then the dust seemed to settle slowly, I wasn’t hearing the arguments anymore and Stormzy had disappeared from Social Media altogether, but there was still no album from Wiley? I was hearing that Wiley was all over the capital, recording verses with MC’s from just about everyone involved in the scene, but there was nothing solid as to why. I’ve heard that it was something to do with labels telling Wiley he had to wait before releasing the record on his own label, but again nothing concrete. I saw something on Instagram that it was going to come out 1st of January, but at this point Wiley was posting a story or a tweet once a minute so I was hardly surprised when this date came and went. Finally in June, nearly 5 months had passed since Wiley’s last send for Stormzy, we had an album. Even then it wasn’t easy! It dropped first on Apple Music before making everyone on Spotify wait a little longer. I actually signed up for Apple Music when I already had Spotify because I couldn’t wait one extra day for it to come out, so if anyone knows how to contact Wiley I’d like to invoice him for that pointless subscription fee.

So finally it was here! I was really busy at the time and I don’t like to listen to a record before I can give it my full attention so I actually saw the track-list before I even had a listen, and at first was amazed by the lack of features, where had all those verses that Wiley had been collecting suddenly gone?! Then I saw a tweet from Big Zuu saying that he’d featured on on a track but had not been credited (Track 20 - West London, if you’re wondering) and I thought “Wow, that’s just so Wiley.” A couple of days later though Wiley himself released a list of all the features on the album, and when I saw that I had to listen straight away. There’s some huge huge names on that list, both established legends in the scene like D Double, Jammer and Footsie, to what I think of as the new breed of people that will carry the genre even further like Big Zuu and Capo Lee, and some people who I won’t lie I’ve never heard of. It seems like Wiley is determined to use his last record to make sure that the wheels of this genre are still spinning.

So onto how the record sounds. Normally I like to do a bit of a breakdown of every track, it allows me to really work out any tracks I really enjoy or any that I think could be left out, but I’m not going to be doing that right here. Purely because this record is incredibly long and I really didn’t fancy writing my thoughts when it comes to 22 separate tracks, I’m not exaggerating either it really is 22 tracks long! Obviously the whole thing does have a very Grime feel to it. Just the lengths of the tracks themselves make me think of the old days of Grime. With an average track length of less than 3 minutes it gives the whole thing a really fast paced feeling, comparable to the way that Wiley has always flung bars at us at a million miles an hour, his final album flings tracks at us with comparable speed. 

The first listen I felt almost overloaded. With so many features that I did find myself thinking “Was that so and so?” so much that I missed just about every punchline and barely even recognised the productions. So I had to go back a few times and listen all over again, although that’s definitely not a chore! Production wise it’s much as you’d expect, very Grimey and very heavy in the early tracks which leaves me feeling that Wiley really is cementing that flag in the scene before he departs. Don’t make any mistakes at all though because this is not a record in which all tracks sound the same, Wiley keeps even the Grimiest tracks sounding varied by switching up his rhyme flows often and the hooks change between each track. Production wise my favourite track would have to be family which features Flirta D, Footsie and Goldie1. I think the track is produced by Mr Virgo and for me it brings a really fresh sound which can often be quite difficult when producing a genre which is nearly 18 years old now. 

Lyrically Wiley comes just as hard as he always has. He comes out swinging on Intro letting us know exactly what he thinks of his role in the scene saying “I’ll be the father bro, you can be the son of it.” As a huge fan of wordplay I also feel like I’ve got to shout out the London scheme in Intro also, which end with a punchline saying “They’ll pull up to the junction, jump out and Clapham.” Had me screwing up my face like I was in 2004 all over again. The bars continue from Wiley as the record goes on, always following the similar theme with Wiley reminding us exactly who we should thank for this whole genre. In terms of features for me it’s Tempa T that absolutely steals the show, probably because I don’t think I’ve heard from him for so long. But having just written that I’m having so many more ideas, J2K is absolutely incredible on Double Dragon and Manga Saint Hilare shines on Amsterdam alongside Breeze, Scratchy and Wiley. Yes you did read that last sentence correctly, it’s basically a Roll Deep reunion on that track.

My only concern with the new album coming out would be that it wouldn’t have any flow. Lately Wiley seems to struggle to focus on one topic, in his interviews with Zeze Millz and Poet for Filthy Fellas I didn’t really know what he was talking about more often than not and I was concerned that lack of cohesiveness would translate into the record. My concerns were unfounded though and, like I’ve said earlier it’s very much a Grime showcase in the early tracks. This does get mixed up as we go continue through though, Rinse for example uses a production that Donae’o once released to give a more UK Funky feel. I also love the final track Press Record, which slows everything right down and moves as far away from Grime as it’s possible to go, but lets us really feel like Wiley is talking to us. I also find it quite emotional because it makes me feel like Wiley is actually serious that this is going to be his last album, and I just don’t even want to begin to imagine this scene without him.

Think what you like of him, and he’s certainly split opinions over the past few months, you simply cannot overstate the impact he’s made. And if you were doubting this statement, this final effort will make sure you rethink that. It’s quite amazing that there are 22 tracks and I genuinely cannot think of a single one that could be taken off this record, a truly sublime effort from the true Godfather. Thank-you Wiley. 

[femmedplume]

Bastille @ the Wiltern (aka How Dan Smith Kissed Me)

Okay friends, strap in, this is gonna be a ride -- partially because I’s super excited, and partially because this is my ONE CHANCE to get revenge for the millions of SPN Con breakdowns I’ve had to read over the years, lol. ((BUT, because I am a nice nice Stitch, I shall put a read more break and you can scroll to the bottom if all you want to read is the kiss part lol.))

To start off, dis me and mah buddy Mikey ( @gnaist​) 

We have known each other since fucking JUNIOR HIGH, and (as I told him last night,) there are v v few people I enjoy enough to tolerate them for over twenty years, let alone still actively want to see them. Dis guy? He dat guy. :) And he also puts up with me with minimal complaining. 

Mikey and I share a birthday week, and we usually do something together (just us) during September to celebrate. This year, he was sweet enough to agree that our Birthday Shenanigans™ should take place at the ONE gig Bastille’s playing in LA -- not because he's a fan, but because I am. #FriendshipGoals

So first, I got all dolled up, with fancy pink and purple hair and Bastille-themed nails:

(That’s 00:15 for their song Quarter Past Midnight, a ∆ , and a letter for each member of the band: Charlie (guitar), Woody (drums), Will (bass), Kyle (keyboards), and Dan (lead singer))

Then, I drove to Mikey’s and gave him his half of our newest tradition: Birthday Socks!! One for me and one for him. 

We had dinner at this awesome patisserie close to Mikey’s awesome new place (shoutout to him for Adulting and buying his first condo!) We also got cake because Birthday Shenanigans™.

The food was super tasty, and the cakes were CHOCOLATE AF (don’t talk to me about my allergies, okay? Is mah BIRTHDAY)

We were running late, so we actually ate in the Lyft (the driver was nice enough to let us, and we were careful not to spill.) We got to the Wiltern at 7pm, JUST as they started letting people in.

Once we got in, we got overpriced (but very tasty) drinkies (Birthday Shenanigans™)

And then Mikey informed me that if we were going to a concert, we were getting merch. (Mikey is v v wise and a literal doctor, so I 100% believe anything he tells me.) We got shirts!

He got a cute Quarter Past Midnight shirt (that was also unusually soft and high quality,) and I got the tie-dye one that’s based off Dan Smith’s actual shirt. I’mma cut up the collar like I do with all my shirts because I hate t-shirt collars.

Then we went inside the actual theatre, which is an Art Deco beauty. They’d taken out all the seats, but the orchestra section has many shallow levels/risers, and people could basically choose which section they wanted to stand in. There was a bar INSIDE the theatre. The lighting was too low for good pics, but you can sorta see in this:

The very front pit and center section were filled with people who hadn’t sauntered in four hours late with chocolate mousse cake -- but there was space off to the right where we could stand and only two people were in front of us. YAY!

Then we waited. And waited. AND WAITED LIKE WTF PEOPLE?? I figure the Wiltern wants to give people time to buy drinks and stuff, but two HOURS???

Finally, about 9pm, the support act came on: a female singer named Fletcher? Anyone heard of her? Anyway, she was really good, had a gorgeous voice -- although we couldn’t understand what she was singing, but that was more because of the mic set up. 

(Das her. V petite and blonde and has a looooot of songs about breakups, lol.)

Once Fletcher finished her set, there was another break while the road crew set up Bastille’s equipment. It was sort of fun to watch, because they’re all English blokes so they’re chatting away in cute accents while they’re doing the setup.

And then, FINALLY, Bastille came on stage. 

And it. 

Was.

WORTH IT.

They went hard from the moment they stepped on stage, and kept the energy up the entire time. 

I cannot fully express to you how electric they are live -- but let’s just say that all the good pictures are Mikey’s because  a) he is the bestest of friends and played cameraman for the evening -- but also b) I was too busy jumping around with Dan to get any actual images of Dan jumping around

He even raced up to the balcony during Flaws, WHILE SINGING and dancing. (I was a bit disappointed he didn’t come by where we were standing, but I was also happy for the balcony peoples because you don’t normally get to interact much in the balcony. Also: ART DECO!!!)

Dan Smith’s voice was PEAK HONEY, and he did all the songs I hoped he would: The Draw, Blame, Quarter Past Midnight...hell, I’ll just show you the set-list, which I got to see after the show:

(The girl holding it was the one who got to keep it -- she was super sweet and a HUGE fan who’d been to tons of concerts but had never gotten a hold of a set-list, so we were all happy she finally got one! :D) 

SIDENOTE: 

During the show, there was this moment in the song Bad Blood where Dan came over to the side of the stage where we were standing. Now, the camera lens makes it seem like we were farther away than we were, like this:

When in reality we could see more like this:

So the band could see our faces, too. So during Bad Blood, Dan’s singing, and I’m singing along with him (like a goober) and I raised my hand like you do when you’re feeling a song...

and he RAISED HIS HAND BACK AND SANG TO ME!

For like, two seconds, but still. It was a MOMENT.

After that, I was floating on Cloud 9 -- so when the concert ended, I was ready to call it a perfect night. But when we went out (the back exit, as it was closer,) Mikey mentioned that because the line had stretched around the far corner of the Wiltern, we’d never gotten a chance to get a pic of the actual marquis. 

So we paused, and I looked back at the theater alley and thought -- huh, I wonder if they might...come out afterwards? Mebbe sign a few things? I has this nice shirt I spent too much money on...mebbe they sign my nice shirt, eh?

So Mikey went to get his pic of the marquis, which came out FABULOUSLY:

And then we settled in to wait at the end of the alley where we thought they might come out. Turns out, we were at the wrong end. So after like, 30 mins of waiting on one end, we (there were like, 20 of us) meandered over to the OTHER end of the alley, where the band’s cars were waiting and the crew was loading out the equipment. 

BTW, the Bastille crew? Super sweet, English and American, and those boys fucking HUSTLED. They were rolling 300-400lb equipment into this semi, basically doing the world’s largest game of Tetris, trying to fit everything in. We was all v v impressed. 

They also brought us water?? Because we’d been waiting for an hour and a half at this point and they felt bad, like...?? AND THEN, they gave us the balloons from the set!!

And all the fans were really nice, and started taking the bunches of balloons apart so that everyone who wanted a balloon could have one (I got a green one, mah favorite color!)

So we’re waiting. And waiting. And WAITING GODDAMN DON’T THEY HAVE CLOCKS IN ENGLAND??

The crew finishes loading, the semi backs out, still we wait. Their manager finally comes out and says that yes they’re coming out, but probably only going to take a couple of group shots with all of us/not sign anything or chat. Why? Because the boys are exhausted. He tells us they’ve flown from England to Sacramento to Vegas to LA in 3 days and played 4 shows, soo... understandable situation. 

EXCEPT for this one fan, who started whining at the manager. “I didn’t wait ALL THIS TIME for some fucking group shot, I want a SELFIE!” “I need Dan to take a pic of me with my SIGN!!” (She kept harping about her sign... is no even a good sign?) 

Then, when it looked for a second like maybe the boys weren’t coming out at all, she snaps “You PROMISED they were coming!!” >:( The tone of this person’s voice, man -- you know the one? Like she’s Sharon at the Walmart and they were out of stock of Pantene Pro-V or some shit and they OWED HER some gotdamn PANTENE and where is the manager?? Ugh.

Anywho, the boys come out. (Except Will. He might have already fallen asleep, IDK lol.) But there was a Dan and a Kyle and a Woody, and they all not ONLY took some group shots, but DID give hugs and stuffs. 

(Dan giving hugs. Woody, who was totally smiley and friendly and not a miserable git like this pic makes him look...right after this moment he ran over and gave the girl next to me a hug. Kyle was off to my right, giving many hugs and taking many pictures.)

(Dan in a taco hat a fan had given him. Woody heading back after giving many hugs.)

(Dan apologizing profusely because someone gave him a shirt for a present and he hadn’t realized that there was an image of a nekkid lady in the art collage on the front, and we were all ladies and he didn’t want us to feel uncomfortable or think he was a misogynist so he covered it up oh god he’s such a cinnamon roll I cannot!)

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for: THE KISS.

So, during the interminable waiting, (literally, TWO HOURS PLUS, you guys!) several of us started chatting -- during the chat, it came up that I has made a Bastille art. I showed the ladies this pic:

because we were all talking about Dan shaving his head and I was trying to convince them it was actually kinda hot, lol. 

They really liked the art!! :D So much so that they convinced me (after many prods and encouragements) to show the art to Dan. And I was gonna do it, honest! I was super brave and not at all terrified.

But then came the whole they’re too tired thing and I was like, eh, mebbe no? 

And THEN, Superbitch Fan was standing right next to me DEMANDING that Dan take a selfie with her and her sign. (Which he did, like a sweetheart.) Then when he went to turn to me, Superbitch decided she didn’t like the first pic, and PUSHED IN FRONT OF ME AND PAST THE SECURITY BARRIER to demand he take another one.

Which he did, like a sweetheart -- but then turned past me, probably so she couldn’t grab him again. So I figured, lost cause, right?

Wrong. As he turned back, I was holding the phone out, but not quite up, kind of undecided -- and it caught his eye. 

Daniel Campbell Smith GASPED, CLUTCHED HIS HEART

and said “Wow.” Looked at the pic, then back to me, said, “Did you...”

And I held it up and said “Um, yes, I made you...an art?” (Because you know, what are words and why would I, a writer, know how to use them?)

And he just gaped, like HE had no words -- and then leaned in and KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK.

And not a peck, either?? Like a firm, full on “you are amazing and so is your art thing thank you so much” kiss for several seconds??

AND MIKEY GOT THE PIC!

TL;DR:

It may be blurry, but there it is! Immortalized for all time, the moment Daniel Cinnamon Roll Smith liked my artwork SO MUCH he had to kiss me to say thank you. 

And then, dear friends, I died. 

I have, in fact, been writing this diary from my condo on the edge of the Lake of Fire in Hades. Because I’m dead. 

BEST. NIGHT. EVER!!**

((Bonus: Mikey is now a Bastille fan! He really liked the concert, and is going to make his own playlist based on the concert’s set list. I’m so freaking happy we got to share that!! :DDDD)) 

((Super-bonus: Look in the right-hand corner of the kiss pic. See that woman looking like she’s having her night ruined? THAT was Superbitch. HA!))

**All credit to @gnaist for taking pictures of the entire night, even when I didn’t know he was shooting lol. 

[sidbridgecomedy]

Running Open Mic Night

Hey comics...

I thought I'd sit down a second and give some insight into the difficulties of running one of the most important open mics in the area (and the longest running one at that). I get a lot of feedback/wishes from comics who want more time or more freedom. Here's the rationale behind the way I run things at Cozzy's, as it unfolded live last Thursday.

Yes, there's backstage work. I have to decide each week if I'm going to host it myself or if I'm going to give someone else the honors. That "someone else" must be someone I deem as capable of running the evening - some can handle it without me there, some need a little hand-holding (and that's ok).

While I do promote the show on social media, the show's presence on the calendar promotes itself. The words "Open Mic" on the official calendar of an established comedy club are an enticement that lure in first-timers and their friends. I also make sure we have a sign up sheet and get there early to run sign-up.

Yeah, 30 comics may sign up in one night and those comics are a chunk of the audience, but the rest of it consists of a few club regulars, a couple of people who wandered in, and a ton of people there to see their friend try comedy for the first time.

Last Thursday, I frankly felt beat up by 8:15. The list had been out for less than 15 minutes and already 30 people had signed up, not including an expected drop-in from one of my favorite headliners. I estimate 20 of those people were there before I put the list out. I'm strict about sign-up time - the list goes out at 8:00 and closes at 8:30. Why? Because 1) It gives me the ability/time to plan the show and arrange the lineup and 2) If you can't handle something as simple as "Get here by this time to sign up" your ass won't make it to a weekend show on time and you'll get fired.

I snatched the list up at exactly 8:30 and started arranging the lineup. Not two minutes later I feel a tap... "Can I still get on that list?" Nope. I had 34 comics plus a headliner. I made that clear to the latecomer (who I like enough not to name here) and got "How much do I have to pay to get on the list?"

Dude. You could pay me a million bucks and it still wouldn't bend space and time to create a place to add someone to a show that over-packed. Two minutes later a second comic came in - a more experienced comic who I happen to love, but he saw the list and knew there was no space. He had the courtesy to not bother asking. That's an asset.

I still had to arrange this monster list. Only on rare occasions do I put people up in the order they sign up. It sucks, but as a host you have to make value judgments. If you know three comics are going to struggle, you can't put them back to back. If you know a few comics are going to rock, you want them up there when the audience is at its peak. If you know someone brought a ton of friends, you want them towards the end so their friends don't bail on the show.

Plus I had a headliner. Brett Leake is one of my favorite people in the world. He always asks me in advance for a space and if I told him 30 people were signing up he would offer to back out without a second thought. I always bend over backwards to make sure he's got a spot. Why? The audience needs to see him - he's hilarious and it reminds everyone that sometimes a headliner shows up out of nowhere at Open Mic Night. And the comics need to see him. Every aspiring comic in that room needs to watch how a guy like Brett irons out new material. Brett is a mensch. He insists on going up early, and he did exactly 5 minutes. Typically a headliner will ask to go in the middle of the show and do 10-15 and that's their right as far as I'm concerned, assuming their headliner credentials are legit and verifiable.

Once I've got that lineup set, I have to corral everyone for a pre-show meeting. Is it a little juvenile that I make everyone hear the same speech before each show? Maybe. Do people screw up every single week? Yep.

It's gotten to the point where I can tell by the look in a first-timer's eyes if they are going to be either funny, nervous/terrible, or a complete asshole with nothing but disrespect for the stage. I always ask the first-timers to stick around after the meeting for some basic comedy 101 and a pep talk. Without fail, one out of every three first-timers will ignore all the rules and have to be pulled from the stage.

Last week it happened and I saw it coming a mile away. Look, maybe the poor guy was nervous, but the dumb grin on his face was like a caption for a picture where every word I said slide in one ear and right out the other.

I have rules. At the behest of the club I work for, I ask the following: 1. Never use the N-word or C-word (for obvious reasons). 2. Avoid the F-word. If it slips out once or twice or makes the joke hilarious I let it go. If it's unnecessary or repeated like it's a damn comma in your sentence, you're done. This is the rule people have the most trouble with because to so many of us it's just a word. And I get that. But I'm not worried about your feelings. I'm worried about the audience and the tone of my show, so suck your feelings in for one night and put a sock in it. Oh, and "Mother***ker" is still the f-word so don't try semantics on me. 3. Don't be disgusting. Don't hump the stool and talk about your bodily fluids the whole time. Again, this one gets a lot of brush-back because apparently bodily fluids are the only life experience a lot of people have to talk about. Again, my responsibility is to the club and the only way the club makes money on open mic night is if people order food and drinks, which they won't do if they want to throw up.

We had to piggyback the hosting that night for obvious reasons, so my job as host was about as dry as it gets. Warm the crowd up at the beginning of the show, then spend the rest of the night timing people and enforcing the rules. The list of comics for the show ended up at a whopping 34 - I was lenient with two people who got there super early and signed up on a sheet of paper that wasn't actually the list. It was an honest mistake.

(Note - even that honest mistake is a tough one for the show runner to deal with. Adding a comic outside of signup time can mean having to shuffle the whole show, change set times, and confuse people who don't know who they have to introduce next. That's why I get pretty cranky over this stuff).

I did four minutes at the beginning of the show. It's the host's prerogative to set his or her own time. My goal was to use a few specific bits that were good enough to guarantee a laugh, but new enough to work on in front of a good crowd. By the way, anyone who complains about being first, remember you aren't first. The host is first. You're second. You're going up to a warmed-up crowd. It's not the best spot on the show, but it's not bad so don't bitch.

Brett Leake (Did I mention he's a wonderful person? Because he is) listened and reacted to every comic he was able to watch. When I got off the stage, he had specific feedback on each of my bits and it was like a gift from heaven. If a headliner ever gives you feedback on your material, LISTEN and be thankful.

After that I settled into what I knew would be an exhausting night. I worried for myself, I worried for the comics and I worried for the crowd. 34 is basically too many people. I better explain myself again...

Why let 34 people on stage, then?

Who am I going to cut? Plenty of mics put 15 slots up and when they are full, that's it. There are just too many people I DON'T want to turn away: Talented comics, comics who are loyal to the club and the show, first timers who brought out their friends or didn't bring friends but finally got up the guts to try - and those categories cover most of the signups. Plus there needs to be a good variety on the show. If I just let the experienced comics on, nobody new will develop and the first timers with tons of friends will stop attending.

Why not make the show longer then? Nope. That's rude to the audience. A comedy show should really go no more than an hour and a half. We stretch to two hours, sometimes 5 or ten minutes more, to squeeze everyone on. By the end, the audience is exhausted. The are starting to clear out and we are risking leaving them with a bad taste in their mouths.

So I took my trusty timer and my flashlight and kicked back to watch what was ultimately a good show - one of the major highlights being Brett Leake, who has the rare ability to write material that requires you to engage your brain, yet still bring it down to a level that any audience can relate to. Most of the comics were super courteous - carefully following the rules, not running over time and really working on solid material.

Yes, some were terrible. And while it has always been policy to shorten the set of a terrible comic, most of the time no one notices when we're only doing 3 minutes. If someone is up there for one crappy minute and I give them the light, that means they get another crappy minute. That's most of their three minute set. So yeah, no real lesson learned there.

One thing that often shocks me at these shows is when comics don't make use of that final minute - I'm not complaining that more than half the lineup ended their sets 30-45 seconds early because it helped fit everyone on stage, but I give two lights - a solid beam to signal one minute is left, and a waving light to signal ten seconds. Go to the 10 second mark, then finish - abruptly if you have to. Between early endings and a couple of people who had to leave and drop off of the show, we were able to stay on time all evening.

The pleasant surprises make it fun - we had one first-timer who did really well and had the right amount of humility. I hope he comes back. The annoyances are ever present. The first-timer I mentioned earlier got up there and dropped the f-bomb more times than I could count in his first 15 seconds. Yeah, it's "just a word" but this guy was in the meeting where I explained very clearly not to do that, then stayed after when I repeated that rule right in his face. At least he obeyed the light and ended his set when I shined it on him at 30 seconds. I'm still a little pissed because when I pulled him aside and told him why I lit him early, there wasn't a hint of an apology.

I don't need this guy to apologize. He made his statement and it'll cost him later. On the flip side, I have another regular who has a very hard time stopping himself from using the F-bomb and he came up to me before the show and apologized sincerely for some language he used last week. That was the right thing to do. He's a good guy and I hope to see him continue.

At about the halfway point of the show the audience started to thin. Generally, I make the comics stick around for the whole show because that's an expected courtesy. If they do need to leave early, I ask for an explanation - and if it's reasonable, I'm usually okay with it. I try not to hold myself up as the litmus test for reasonable - I run that show to the bitter end, then get up at 5am the next morning for my 4-mile run. That's not normal and I recognize that.

I think the crowd thinned in this case just because - even in one hour - it's exhausting to watch a show that has that many comics. Cramming 15 people on stage in 60 minutes feels a lot longer than it actually is. I appreciate all the comics who went later in the lineup and still gave it their all for a slightly smaller audience - not a bad audience, mind you - Cozzy's open mic shows have been blessed with actual non-comic audience members - plenty of them.

The show ended up finishing at 10:50pm, which is good. No, I didn't use that extra time for the two comics I turned away because 1) They left, 2) The audience was tired so would have had to set themselves on fire to get laughs and 3) That would kind of negate the whole "be on time to sign up" message.

The aftermath of a show like that is actually pretty rewarding. The best comics of the bunch hang around and talk about what worked and what didn't work - they share stories about recent gigs and talk about what shows they have coming up. It's a wonderful fraternity with a true mixture of all types - even "edgy" comics still come to my show in spite of the fact that quite a few of their friends don't like me and my rules.

Some day I will have to hand Open Mic Night off to a new boss. I've been running it for more than five years and it's as exhausting as it is rewarding. For me it sometimes becomes a crutch that allows me to rationalize not being aggressive enough in my own bookings because I have a show to run. However I really love Cozzy's. From the beginning, Lorain has been there with opportunities and honest assessments of my progress. I've met amazing people thanks to all the work I've done at that club and wouldn't trade the experience for the world. There's a reason Cozzy's is the longest running comedy club in the area - while bar gigs come and go, Cozzy's continues to assemble the right talent for a well-nurtured audience of honest, rowdy blue collar heroes.

There you have it. This was supposed to be Open Mic Night in a nutshell, but as you can see it's much more complex. We've experimented with alternative formats before, including pre-selected spots, bi-weekly ProAm shows and only doing Open Mic once or twice a month. It's always come back to what we have now.

Other successful open mic formats in the area have included the Funny Bone's bringer show, Clash of the Comics - which packs the house every month and really takes the competitors to a new level and the original Cinema Cafe formula, where the comics were carefully pre-selected and the audience was developed with care to help each comic build a following.

I'm always open to new ideas, but for now I'm proud to be one of the many people in the area who help new talent reach that next level.

[windchimchim-blog]

100 reasons to love kang younghyun

i was inspired by this really good hanbin post i read.

(lot of win, man in a movie, pocket live and fancam references)

*with the widest grin on my face, i will proceed to type this.*

1. His love and appreciation for each member’s talent and genuine appreciation for them, especially on radio shows(hongkira)

2. His unfailing ability to describe loneliness and solitude perfectly with his lyrics.

3. That one pre-debut cover of gd’s butterfly

4. his dimples

5. “NOT Brian. Who is BRIAN?!”

6. grey hair, i’ll say no more

7. “MURUGESO BABAY!”

8. That one radio-cam of him jamming to Baek-ah-yeon’s song. with her. in the studio. 

9. “BOOM!!”

10. Him getting all flustered on ASC when Dreamcatcher sang im serious(”my favourite group”)

11. “She called me to her hotel room”

12. “Yess, good morningg”

13. every single time younghyun has ever rapped hunt while treating a HEAD BAND as if it were a BLINDFOLD.

14. his dimples.

15. “wh-wh-whAt is in your bAg?”

16. him imitating dowoon on a vlive while watching a jaesix vlog

17. while we’re on dowoon, his genuine adoration for the maknae like you can SEE it in his eyes it’s beautiful

18. that one fanmeet photo of him in the harry potter merch really buttered my beer

19. The broccoli hair yes in this house, we apprec8 that

20. while we’re on that,the HEYJUDE COVER.

21. His ability to take on a million ranges vocally, take incredible falsettos, and also sing from the gut fascinates me

22. jaehyungparkian.

23. “i’ll try harder to be like young k”

24. “i wish i nEver knEW you bABy”(the english rap it ended me.)

25. “knock you with my punchlines” WIN era younghyun, best younghyun

26. “TORONNO, KANADA”

27. that one fantaken photo of him with the sipper and multi-coloured hair and a denim jacket and a guitar on his back.

28. the be lazy pocket live but hold up, the behind the scenes of that where he’s sweating(ah the struggle to be sexy)

29. the “what can i do” pocket live. i think about that a lot.

30. everytime he’s ever done the nose scrunch.

31. that one gif of him rolling up his sleeves to reveal !!! his biceps !!! boi!!!

32. Blood rap translation. bye

33. mathletes dance compilation.

34. him dancing to gashina and literally  pelvic thrusting in everyone’s faces

35. oh oh that fancam of him dancing to “all that i have” and doing that back thing. you know what im talking about 

36. “JOUUA”

37. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAMBAMBAMBAM. (what can i do live bass vocals by one and only kang younghyun!!)

38. wooyoung exposing drunk k “why do you fucking do this to me, hyung” i love him

39. “why am i alone?” every time i hear him sing that line, i get chills. pure art.

40. “yg get an attitude”(he dropped it like it’s hot)

41. youngfeel.

42. while we’re on youngfeel, him replying to a tumblr ask saying “love wonpil” is a goal for 2018.

43. hungry k(”best part of songwriting is breakfast, lunch and dinner”)

44. that one video of jae and young k using the jyp card and young k squealing-”it’s not our money, it’s not our money eehehe!!!!!!!”

45. his rap in congratulations. i c o n i c

46. him mouthing “sarangeul haetdaa” when hongki played love scenario. im an ikonic and  a my day and this was just the most satisfying thing ever

47. every. single. part  he has in man in a movie. it’s all us young k stans ever think about.

48. his relationship with terry. terry we love you.

49. pre-debut video of young k falling off the stage while performing. rip his ego

50. his rings. p l e a s i n g 

51. that one baby pink shirt he wore on hongkira while promoting I loved you

52. a fancam of him doing the whole “yess, good morning” thing, and the mic falls down

53. the video of day6 performing man in a movie on nct’s night radio and johnny looking at young k in complete and utter amazement.  same, johnny, same.

54. him describing the percentage of alcohol in their drink on a rooftop live and the giggling about it and yelling “we gon’ get craaazyy”

55. HIS COVER OF BAD DAY. NOBODY DID IT BETTER.

56. the arirang avatar thing where he wore a hanbok and the headgear too. ded.

57. his appreciation for good music. he’s really out there listening to neon trees, arctic monkeys, lauv and daniel powter

58. the beginning of a day6 moments video where  he’s singing i like you but effortlessly and it should be funny but yet again, im just very impressed none of those notes are falsettos

59. when he danced to knock knock and then got all shy. my boy knew ALL the steps :‘)

60. when he forgets lyrics while busking and makes shit up. priceless.

61. on his solo live, when he made that song about soy sauce and dipping meat in it and it being delicious to the tune of what can i do. istg younghyun what can you not do

62. his business administration windbreaker

63. in general, his love for business administration lmao i love him

64. his efficacy and will to get good grades even while touring

65. his dubsmashes and that baby sound one in particular

66. “I GOT TACOS”

67. his vibratos in songs. they’re like a separate entity altogether. we’ve got young k’s beautiful versatile voice, then we’ve got his vibratos. right there, on a pedestal.

68. that one fantaken picture of him at the recent thailand concert where he’s wearing a blue shirt and hugging himself(?) idk it’s cute his cheeks are full , he looks happy :’)

69. when he loses his shit during “sing me” in concerts and just vibes with the crowd. best.

70. kang younghyun’s DayDreaming. pre debut. go listen to it if you haven’t. rightnow.

71. the thumbnail of the last third degree video. young k with terry. it’s the look on his face. the innocence. i melt

72. his relationship with people around him and friends. it’s so cool and he literally leaves no stone unturned while thanking his friends :’) (KMESS4LYFE i c u)

73. i don’t say this enough but the lyrics of all alone. younghyun’s part. “i wish someone would hug me and tell me i’ve worked hard when i came home”. come here bby i’ll hug you you’ve worked so hard.

74. kang younghyun’s eyes.

75. him in a black cap and earrings and a white tee.a look.

76. “someone pls teach me how to tweet” 

77. him forgetting his own collab song with jimin on a live broadcast of ASC

78. him admitting in a concert that he’s felt like running away at times and he’s here only bc of the fans’ love for day6. im not crying u r

79. this one tumblr post of him growing up thru the years it’s like an ‘evolution of his smile’ post it brings me to tears

80. his habit of repeating something someone says if he finds it amusing

81. him opening a bottle of beer for dowoon

82. the look on his face when my days are singing man in a movie from start to finish without any percussion or bgm. an in a movie. a song he wrote. a b-side track.

83. the way he says bye to the camera swaying from side to side

84. when he was a total sport and jammed to b.i spitting freestyle rap in his face(WIN)

85. “noo. nooo he’s lying. i beat him i hit himm”

86. “YOU ARE MY DAY!”

87. the aaa falsetto at the end of that part^^

88. his verse at the beginning of “i would”. i think that’s what he’d sound like in the morning.

89. he’s just so humble. he literally writes the lyrics we all love so much but never misses an opportunity to commend everyone’s talent “i get the most ideas but jae has the best ideas”

90. “young k has maximum experience when it comes to girls. he knows what warms a woman’s heart”. lmao i agree

91. him singing “oh wonpil you play the piano so well” at the end of a pocket live

92. the fact that he was dating in canada without his parents’ knowledge and that’s where he gets the inspiration to write songs from. idk it’s adorable

93. his borderline jazz version of pouring in a pocket live. i hear you jazzy rhythmic finger snaps

94. his smirk when he does the “aah” part in “what can i do”

95. his awe and admiration for his dongsaengs like he’s genuinely in love with how talented the the stray kids boys are

96. “i ask people to call me young k bc as young k, i can make up for the inadequacies of brian. brian is weak.” this is why i often stick to young k now. yeah it’s fun to joke around but maybe he dOES feel more emotionally and mentally adequate as young k. maybe he feels more empowered or stronger and i don’t want to invalidate that. it takes courage to say what he said in front of a crowd.

97. just the stuff he’s gone through and how strong he is. he’s overcome so much. brave and powerful.

98. the fact that he doesn’t ever fake it with his lyrics, he remains true to his music and so does the rest of day6. stan day6.

99. he’s so interactive with fans and always wants to see us happy. you could say your fav idol does that too but this really IS why i love younghyun

100. the final reason is just because he lives. he lives despite all the obstacles that were probably thrown at him, and i respect and adore that. the way he makes us feel a little less lonely with words that he’s penned out of his own sorrow. the selflessness. i am lucky to listen to songs he has written and day6 has sung. he’s a beautiful human who deserves all ALL the love :’)

thank you for reading, my dudes

[hagarenmovie]

AX 2017: Fullmetal Alchemist Live Action Panel Transcription

The Fullmetal Alchemist World Whirlwind Tour!! First stop Los Angeles!

| Transcription of a major part of the panel that took place on July 3rd, at Anime Expo 2017 in Los Angeles. Although the panel was listed as 11am to 12pm, it only actually lasted about 35 minutes since it started late and then ended a bit early in order to clear the room. Still, a lot happened in that short time! Here’s the complete transcription! Very Long Post!! |

- NOTE: the MC is Ken Ayugai from Tokyo. Mikey’s the interpreter. I cut their self introductions and their final remarks which let the audience know that the next stop on the live action promo tour was Paris.

- ALSO we weren’t allowed to film or take pictures till after the footage was shown and they were real strict about it, but I’m sure the live action team will release pictures and some footage after their world tour ends in Japan on July 12th, so we just gotta wait like a week.

Also check out: Description of scenes in the footage

MC: So first of all, I'm sure most of you are aware of this but I'm gonna run you through the history of Fullmetal, really quick.

 Mikey: Just a little bit, so you guys, you know there might be some people who don't know Fullmetal Alchemist up here.

 MC: So first of all, Fullmetal Alchemist is a popular japanese manga, which I'm sure you know, and it's written by Hiromu Arakawa and published in the monthly magazine Shonen GanGan from 2001 to 2010. And this series has sold over 70 million copies worldwide and there's been like a tv series in 2003 and 2009, the animated series. And the movie was in 2005 and 2011. And [when the] author gave birth to her children, she continued writing hoping that her kids would read it one day.

 Mikey: Exactly, she wanted her kids to read this one day, so that's a really touching story, right?

MC: Yeah. And since the first anime in Japan was produced in January 1917, that's just like 100 years ago.

 Mikey: Wow, the 100th birthday of anime! Wow.

 MC: Yeah, in japan.

 Mikey: I think that deserves an applause, right guys? 100 years. So i think, you know, so i think it's only appropriate that on the hundredth birthday of anime Fullmetal Alchemist gets a live action adaptation, right? Yeah?

 *audience cheeeers*

 MC: Ok so they [FA movie team] got a lot of offers from around the world and so the FA team has come to anime expo!

 *audience cheers*

 MC: Ok that's about it haha for the history.

 Mikey: Alright.

 MC: Alright, so what do you say, do we want to welcome up or - oh no, first we're gonna do the footage, right? Ok so let's take a look at the trailer first of all!

 *audience cheers*

 {the latest trailer released on april 6th is shown to the audience}

 MC: And now let's welcome our special guests!

 *audience goes wild*

 MC: Let's give a round of applause. from the live action cast Ryosuke Yamada

 *fangirls lose their shit as he walks on stage*

 MC: And director Fumihiko Sori!

 *Director Sori comes on stage as the screaming continues*

 MC: A big round of applause for our guests please!

 *audience calms down*

 MC: [to Yamada] Alright so first of all, would you like to say hello to the crowd?

 Yamada: *testing the mic* hah, hah. [He introduced himself in English] Hello everyone, I'm Ryosuke Yamada playing Edo! thank you for coming today. Please enjoy!

 *cheers*

 MC: thank you. and Mr. Sori.

 Sori: [in English] My name is Fumihiko Sori and this movie's director and please enjoy.

 MC: Alright! So, welcome to anime expo

 Sori: hai, thank you

 MC: please be seated. So we're gonna ask you a few questions, first of all welcome to LA and how's it been so far?

 Yamada: *tries to talk into the mic but it doesn't work and makes derp faces*

 *audience chuckles as MC gives his own mic to Yamada*

 Yamada: [Mikey's Translation = MT] Well, it is really warm and everyone's really nice to me so I'm really enjoying my time here.

 Sori: [MT] I love LA! I've been--I lived here about 20 years ago i wanna say.

 MC: So is it any different from 20 years ago?

 Sori: [MT] I don't think it changed that much in 20 years

 MC: Ok, so still the same good ol LA?

 Sori: [in English] It's great, yeah. I love LA!

 MC: So, looking at this huge crowd for you, how do you feel right now? 'Cause for Anime Expo it's the first time to actually have a live cast come on stage, I guess

 Yamada: [MT] I mean, I'm really happy and proud to be Japanese right now, to see the crowd you know. this room is full of fans who love and share japanese anime and content so I'm really happy

 MC: ok. and Mr. Sori can you tell us what led you to create this live action version of this manga that has so many fans?

 Sori: [MT] So as you guys know, a lot of american comics have been adapted in live action formats, and you know and it's really really cool as i see it, watching from where i am. and you know, we have a lot of good content, a lot of good properties and stories in Japan, but we haven't really had the chance to do a live action adaptation at the level and quality i really wanted to, but i feel like finally we're at a point where it's ready.

MC: [to Yamada] So how did you actually feel when you got offered this role?

 Yamada: [MT] So you know, i'm not really tall per se and when i got this offer i was like, 'maybe it is kinda cool being chibi sometimes'

 MC: Ok, during [playing] Ed there must have been so many challenges

 Yamada: so i mean, of course the performance itself is one thing, acting as Ed, but i think the hardest part was Alphonse, you know he's done in full CG so all my acting i have to do kind of not looking at anything really so all the acting really came down to my relationship with Alphonse there.

 MC: Ok so, we would like to just... go on to the footage maybe?

 Mikey: You guys wanna see some footage?

 MC: Ok, and as mentioned before, no cameras please. No phones or otherwise we have to stop, ok. Let's ask Mr. Yamada to cue [the footage].

 Yamada: nihongo de shitsurei shimasu. Kore dewa goran kudasai, dozo. [translation: I'm sorry for the Japanese. Now, here you go, please watch.]

 MC: Let's take a look at the footage!

 *footage rolls. it's like 6 solid minutes and the audience goes through a rollercoaster ride of emotions*

 MC: Alright! [to Yamada, translation:] What did you think of that reaction?

 Yamada: I was really happy to hear you guys' reactions throughout that. We were listening back there.

 MC: so first of all, i understand that filming started in Italy in June 2016 so why did you choose Italy actually.

 Sori: So of course the first work was set in a sort of European city and there wasn't really a specific country but after going through Europe we found that Italy had a lot of really good backgrounds and scenery that we liked for the movie.

 MC: Ok, so Mr. Yamada, what was it like, you're actually acting a role which is not quite Japanese...

 Yamada: [MT] So the original work of course is written by a Japanese mangaka so i really didn't have too much resistance trying to interpret and understand what kind of character we were doing but there was of course fear in the back of my mind as I was acting so i mean, i hope you guys all saw that footage and didn't really feel anything weird, did you?

 *audience cheers, many yell out 'Nooo, you're perfect!!'*

 Yamada: [in english] Thank you!

 MC: And I have a question for Mr. Sori, what was it like actually, for you, working with Mr. Yamada?

 Sori: [MT] Well he is a professional through and through and it made my job really easy to be honest, i didn't have to give him too much direction, he just got what i wanted how i wanted the character to be portrayed and a lot of the action he did himself -- all of the action he did himself, so that made us really really--

 Sori: [in English] No stunt, no stunt!! (Director Sori said this while Mikey was interpreting)

 Sori: [MT] No stuntman here!

 MC: that's amazing!

 Yamada: arigatou gozaimasu

 MC: you got a big one in the face [during the footage, while Ed's running away from the transmuting walls that attack him like giant pillars, he ends up running into one face first]

 Yamada: [MT] That was harder than it looked because i had to react to basically nothing right there

 MC: so how does it feel like, what do you think about it [the footage]? Actually when you looked at it, that footage.

 Yamada: [MT] So when i was acting and portraying the character, i had an idea of what it was going to look like, but seeing it kind of put together with all the edits --it blew my mind and it was way beyond my expectations, i really have to thank the director and all of his awesome skills so thank you very much director.

 MC: And throughout the film.. actually when you were filming the film, your brother isn't actually here but did you feel him here or what was that like?

 Yamada: So while I didn't actually get to see Alphonse in front of me the actor portraying him was next to me acting on his behalf, so as we progressed through production, more and more i started to see him as Alphonse

 *audience awws*

 MC: And Mr. Sori, you've been using a lot of digital technology in this film. Could you tell us about that please?

 Sori: [MT] So I mentioned that I lived in Los Angeles about 20 years ago, i think you guys remember that right? So i was working at a company called Digital Domain and i was actually an animator, a VFX animator there, and i worked on a little movie called Titanic which you might have heard of. And I learned a lot about VFX there so i took a lot of that skill, so my specialty actually lies in the VFX field so i came back to Japan and slowly kind of grew into the role of director and i always thought 'man i wanna take a Japanese IP or Japanese content and turn it into a very VFX heavy production and i think finally i had the chance, and now here we are back in LA 20 years later showing you guys this clip so i'm really really happy and proud to be here.

 Mikey: And one more thing! (Director Sori wanted to add to his previous statement)

 Sori: [MT] but that does not mean this is a VFX only movie and i think you guys, the fans, know that more than anyone, that this is a very story driven, emotional journey. [Sori in English] Yeah, everybody knows, yeah.

 MC: One more question, so when you first met for this film, Mr. Yamada and Mr. Sori, what was the first thing you kind of agreed to focus on in creating this film?

 Yamada: [MT] So I was always a huge fan of Fullmetal Alchemist and when I was offered this role i mean, of course i was really really happy and pleased, and at the same time when we went to Italy and production started, when we were on set and we kind of talked and met each other, i think there wasn't really any doubt in the direction we were gonna take the character and the production. i think it was really a very seamless transition from when we first took it from pre-production to production.

 MC: [translation:] And Director, what about you?

 Sori: [MT] I think it was the best combination ever, even looking back now, looking at all the actors and the talent in the world, i don't think anyone could have portrayed Ed as well as he has so i'm really really glad.

 MC: Ok and now actually, we have a surprise for everyone. We have... the creator of Fullmetal Alchemist...

 *audience starts going wild*

 MC: ...We have a message from her and I'd like to read out the original actually, in Japanese so [to Mikey] can you help me out?

 Mikey: We have a message from the creator and we're going to read it out to you guys right now.

 MC: Ok. [he reads Arakawa-Sensei's message in Japanese]

 Mikey: [Arakawa-sensei’s message interpreted:] So the manga I feel like is my child, I created it, and all these spinoffs and other iterations of it, the anime, the games, everything else that you take, it really feels kinda like my grandchildren, and here they are flying, leaving the nest, exploring, you know i'm really really proud to see them leave the nest like this. And I got to take a look at the footage as well. And it really felt like all these characters i created are there, present in our world. Ryosuke, the way you played Ed was so kakkoi. Everyone out there throughout the world, i hope you take really good care of my grandchild when he goes to see you!

MC: That was a message from Hiromu Arakawa. Ok and now we'd like to give it up to you guys and go into the q&a maybe. You guys have any questions? So if you have a question please raise your hand, okay. You look really ready (some guy in the first few rows was standing with his hand raised)

 Mikey: Are we doing the mic? Are we having them line up or are we gonna run it? Ok, we're gonna line up so please if you have a question line up over here...

 *a ton of people scramble to get to the mic, myself included*

 Mikey: Ok, I don't know if we have that much time guys. Moderators help us out.

 MC: Oh and about the cameras... We were worried about the footage, so yeah you can take photos if you guys want to

 *audience goes crazy*

 Mikey: Let's get started without further ado

 Fan 1: [i know a lot of people here] ...have mixed feelings about this, but maybe 8-10 years down the line, what do you guys think [about an American movie remake]?

 |I missed the complete answer to this one, but the Director was for it|

 Fan 2: How did you come to the conclusion of like where in the manga or anime to finish the movie?

 Sori: [MT] So in my mind I kind of consider this a part one and we have a really good book end to kind of bring closure to the movie as a movie so it can stand alone. But at the same time, if you guys like it and continue to support it, i don't see why there can't be a part two and hopefully beyond.

 Mikey: Thank you very much.

 Fan 3: Ok i have a question to Ed. Will there be a lot of like in the anime, like a lot of when you're fighting with Alphonse, there's a lot of jumping around. Do you think you can do that? Or is it not possible?

 Yamada: [MT] All I can tell you right now is please look forward to the action, there will be a lot of action, not only when i fight against Al, but with him alongside me so I can only tell you to stay tuned and look forward to it.

 Fan 3: Alright, that's cool man! Thank you.

 MC: Thank you.

 Yamada: [in English] Thank you.

 Fan 4: Hi Yamada, hi director. I have a question. So my question is what was the weirdest thing or thing that stood out to you while filming in Italy or during your time here, in LA?

 Yamada: [MT] So this is my first time appearing overseas in front of fans of the movie or of the anime so really your reaction as you saw the footage was kind of a really big pleasant surprise for me. It really made me feel like it was worthwhile playing the part, you know, it was just a pleasure to hear you guys. A lot of times in Japan, people are most embarrassed and shy so they don't openly express that kind of emotion and you know it's just really awesome hearing you guys see that first.

 MC: We're kind of running out of time so we’re gonna have maybe two more questions. We’re very sorry.

Mikey: I'm very sorry guys, two more questions. Yes we're running out of time, unfortunately.

 Fan 4: Ok, so one) I made it. Yes, I'll ask my question real quick. Two) Thank you for the trailer, it was great. Saw a lot of characters that we all know and love, but there was two people I did not see in the trailer. I was wondering if Scar and Armstrong are gonna be in the movie, 'cause I didn't see them.

 Sori: [MT] So I say look forward to seeing them in the movie, but also look forward to part 2.

 MC: So this will be the last question, I'm sorry.

 Fan 5: Hi, Yamada-kun, hi director. I want to ask a question to Yamada-kun. Before the shooting, did you prepare or practice anything for shaping the character of Edo?

 [For the answer to this question, Yamada ran like Ed to show how Ed's running is different from his own and the audience cheered]

 Yamada: [MT] So i think you guys remember the scene where I was running in the beginning, right? So a lot of times when Ed runs, he has a very unique way of running (Mikey not translating anymore:) I'm not gonna do it for you guys (back to translating) It's leaning back and running. And normally when I run, I would run leaning forward like a normal person so I think having the manga on the set and at the production was a large part, and we would always use it as kind of our guidance so we had all the scenes, you know, and obviously getting into costume having it there really really helps. So we wanted to stay true to the manga and that was I guess my technique to building the character.

 Fan 5: arigatou gozaimasu

 | Closing remarks |

 Yamada: [MT] I'm very very happy and honored to be able to have a project like Fullmetal Alchemist that is so loved around the world being produced into a live action adaptation in Japan. So i hope that everyone around the world will be able to see this so thank you very much and yoroshiku.

Sori: [in English] I'm so happy now so please enjoy this movie!

(MC and Mikey end the panel.)

[sawthingsiimagined]

#XD30 - NINE | DOUBLE TROUBLE

[ New Flame - Jada] "And now, give a huge Miami welcome to...FLAME!", exclaimed the announcer. The arena went completely black as we took our marks on the set. I would appear behind a veil-like material that would act as flame at the top of burning car and my brother would step out of the car. The car was was being moved on a moving walkway on the stage to give the illusion that my brother was driving. Red lights begin to flash as the car parked center stage. The audience goes crazy. They scream so loud that I was afraid that I would miss my cue to come in. My brother and I prayed fervently before we left the hotel room that evening and were confident that we would put on a great show. Here we are. Two kids from a small suburb right outside of Atlanta, Ga performing for thousands of people. "Are y'all ready to dance?!", I say as loud as I can over my mic. "Let's take a ride. I guarantee to have you home before the morning light.", Jace began singing. His voice was so perfect. He looked great. I knew he was nervous. Hell, I was nervous. But it was something about jumping out there on that stage and the energy of the audience that took all of that nervous energy away. We performed for 40 min and the crowd loved every minute of it. We had one costume change and somehow wardrobe misplaced my shoes for the second costume but besides that, our show was flawless. "Thank you everybody! Be sure to get our debut album 'Double Trouble' available everywhere on July 1st!", I said as we left the stage. We exited the stage and I immediately jumped in my brothers arms. Jace is literal perfection. I know I'm the outgoing one but I want to be like him in so many ways. I look up to my brother and I hope our, already strong relationship, grows stronger. After our embrace we head back to our dressing room to meet Mona and to our surprise our entire family was waiting in the hallway. "Oh my God!", I screamed running into the arms of my grandpa. Bishop, was the first person I saw and then I hugged my grandma, mom and dad. A couple of our aunts and uncles came along as well as our cousins. We even had a couple of close friends from our church all there with flowers and balloons to celebrate our awesome performance. It meant so much for us to be here. Growing up as preacher's kids, we were blessed to have family who supported our secular music. However, we didn't push the envelope when it came to our lyrical content out of respect to our upbringing and legacy. After hugging everyone and exchanging words of excitement I changed so that I could join everyone else in the arena to see SASSY perform. They came out and did their thing...if that's a nice way of saying that they were "ok". It felt like we were at an entire new arena watching from the audience. Everything is much different on stage. We hadn't interacted with SASSY since we've been here. I didn't even get close to them at the pool party but Mona informed us that they were looking forward to meeting us at the afterparty tonight. The concert ended at 11pm exactly. We rushed back stage for a quick meet and greet. Our family and loved ones went back to their hotel to rest up. We would meet them for breakfast to celebrate tonight's show. I was taking a picture with the last fan when I heard someone scream. After the previous night's events I jumped out of fear. When I looked up I saw Q walking in with 2 dozen red and white roses. I can't explain the way I almost ran up to him and kissed him. I had to remind myself that I haven't even called him yet. "Superstar you were amazing and I had to make sure I came to tell you that myself.", Q said flashing a smile as if he was Jay Z looking at Beyoncé. After tonight, honey I felt like Beyoncé. I ran to him to give him a hug. I've never received flowers like that from a guy so I thought a hug would be the proposer exchange, although he was looking so good I wanted to give him some of "Jada's Pink Kit" right backstage. "Thank you friend!", I said with my face buried in his neck. You call guys 'friend' when you aren't sure of their motive but yet you have a motive of your own. It keeps things neutral. He smelled so good. "I'm so happy you came.", I said. "I told you I was. You're too pretty to lie to.", he said. I blushed. "I can't stay long because the car is waiting. Maybe I'll catch you later?", he asked. "I understand and yea....maybe.", I said with a flirty smile. Security escorted me to my car. I was slightly disappointed that it was Paul again and not Ernest. I hadn't see Ernest since he brought me back to my room. I hope I didn't break his dick and have him in the hospital. I should probably check on him. "Hey Paul.", I begin to ask as he opened the door for me to get in the car. "Where is Ernest?", I asked. "Ernest had some family matters to tend to. He will be back tomorrow.", Paul replied. "Oh ok, just asking. You're great. I just remember him saying that y'all rotated so I didn't know if I need to report him if he had you out here working doubles for him.", I lied. I got in the car. Truth is, after performing like we did tonight, I was extremely turned on. Something about all of that hip thrusting, and knowing that every person in the audience is lusting after you in some way, made me horny as hell. Mona, Adrienne and Jace were already in the car when I got in. We laughed and looked at footage from our set on various fan's social media pages. Mona was so proud of us. I can always tell when she's excited because her voice goes from proper "Hello Miss White Woman" to country "I made the potato salad" really quick. Tonight's after party was at a night club called XHALE. The line to get in was wrapped around the building. Of course we were the special guests so we would walk right in. SASSY was walking in when we pulled up so we had to wait in our car until their security team had them situated inside of the club. I thought about the flowers Q brought me and how good he looked tonight. It was crazy that this time last year I was at a TRAPPERS concert. I remember it ended early, because of a fight, but it was so fun and since then I followed the popular rap group keeping up with their music and appearances. Now, their lead guy was acting as if he was into me and brought me flowers after opening night. I decided to text him. I texted him: 'Hey Q. Thanks again for the flowers. If you guys would like to party with us tonight we are at CLUB XHALE. I would love to tell you thank you again in person.' I knew after I sent the text that he would have my number and a new relationship of some sort would be formed. What is a bitch to do? Hmmmm SEND! We get out of the car to walk the red carpet. People are screaming and taking pictures of us. My phone vibrated and I saw that it was Q. I stopped right there and checked the message. The text read: 'Ok mama. On the way to you.' My inner hoe began to rise. He called me mama which means he must be daddy. We are about to play house! I continued into the club trying to decide if I was going to play 'hard to get' or 'hard to get away from'. He's a celebrity with millions of girls throwing themselves at him daily. He probably has baby mamas and groupies galore. I better not mess with him until I know I can keep my feelings out of it. Shouldn't be hard because I still had a mission to get as much as I could on this tour. Guys do it all of the time so for this tour I was going to rep the rockstar life for the ladies. We head over to our section and 'THROW SOME MO' began playing. I immediately started throwing my ass to the beat. I could see Jace shaking his head before venturing off. About 20 minutes later, Mona walks us over to meet SASSY. They were just as I expected; Fake and fraudulent. I put on a fake show for them because I was grateful to be on their tour. Maybe after a couple of cities I would get to know them and like them. I tried to give the black girl of the group the "hey Sis" wave and she looked at me with a smile that read "umm excuse me I don't speak peasantry." I knew then I'd probably eventually have to catch her outside and throw some hands. Such a dry weave heifer. They were eating my brother up. The can look but that's all they can do. I was going to find the perfect girl for my brother and it wouldn't be any of them. I felt an arm wrap around my waist. I turned around and it was Q. I gave him a tight hug. I turned around to excuse myself from Mona and the rest of the crew when I noticed ol' girl from SASSY, the black one, looking like she felt some type of way about Q coming for ME. I decided to rub it in. "Hey Mona, if anymore of the fans want to meet us just text me. I'm going to the bar to talk to Q.", I said and then turned around making sure my hair flicked over my shoulders. I grabbed Q's hand and escorted him to an empty space at the bar. "You came.", I said like a little girl excited to see Santa. "Of course. You rang.", he answered trying to rhyme. It was cheesy but in a cute way for a rapper. "Can I get you a drink?", he asked. "Sure, I'll take a...", I began as he cut me off. "Hey Mike! Hook me up with 2.", he yelled at the bar tender. First name basis? Two what? "Don't worry, I come to this club every time I'm in Miami. Mike makes the best drinks and knows what I like.", he said. We got our drinks and began to talk. I learned that the other 3 guys in TRAPPERS all grew up on the same street as Q. They went to school together and pretty much got caught up in the thug life together. They were from Jacksonville, Fl. I wasn't aware that Jacksonville had thugs but whatever. The TRAPPERS were truly thugs just made over with a star appeal. We talked so much that I missed some messages from Mona. I glanced across the club and they were having a good time so I didn't bother to text her back. I also notice Paul not too far away. When he wasn't looking I took Q's hand and pulled him down a hallway that lead to what looked like offices. There were people in the hallway. I needed to get somewhere a little quieter. I felt like we had been screaming to hear each other all night. "So where are y'all going after this?", he asked. "We have a show in Charlotte tomorrow night and then we have a day off before heading to D.C.", I answered. "Oh word. We'll be in D.C. in a couple of days too. We have a performance at Howard University. They want us to come encourage students to go to school. I hate school and didn't go to college but I'll take whatever check Howard is writing.", Q said with the smile of a scammer. "I hear ya. Well I'm a college drop out thanks to our record deal and this tour. Maybe I'll see you there too.", I said. "You said that like you're about to say goodbye", he said with a look of disappoint. "Oh no, I just didn't want to come off thirsty and ask you to hang out in D.C. I'm a direct person but I'm still taking in everything that's going on right now. Don't let me keep you out late though.", I said with a chuckle putting my head down just in case I came off crazy. He grabbed my chin and pulled my lips to his. HOE! Before I knew it I had my hand around his neck and we were kissing. It was crazy that Chris Brown's song 'New Flame' was playing in that moment. After a while I no longer heard the music or noticed anyone else's presence in that moment. He pulled away. "I would ask if I can take you back to your room but I don't want to come off too direct either....although I am a little thirsty. Do you mind thirsty Jada.", he said running his tongue across his top grill. Forget the hotel. I couldn't wait and I knew the crew would want to stay up and talk about tonight. Whatever was about to happen will have to happen right now. I thought about seeing if we could 'talk' in his car but he's a celeb and I know there are a lot of people who would chase us once we exited this front doors. I look around and notice one of the office doors cracked open. I take his hand again and lead him into the room not caring who saw us go in. Once inside I answered him, "No Q. I don't mind thirsty. Take your sip." I must have used the same tone of voice I used on Ernest because before I knew it he grabbed me up and laid me down on top of a desk knocking over folders and boxes that were on top. The lights were off but I could see him lick his lips from the light coming from under the door. I had on a simple black body dress with bedazzled stilettos. He pulled my dress up and pulled my sheer black thong off. I laid their in disbelief. Again. I was at this guy's concert a year ago watching from the top section. This was turning out to be a wonderful testimony. He caressed my legs all the way up to my thighs and then stopped to rub my inner thighs. He takes a few seconds and then introduced his index finger to my golden gate. He then used two fingers while staring me in the eye the entire time. Bitch he was trying to connect with me. My goodness began to moisten as he removed his fingers and stuck them in his mouth to sample a taste of me. That was a first for me and I wanted to propose to him right there in that moment. Still staring at me, he lowered himself to his knees and removed the cap he was wearing. He disappeared for a second and then I feel his hands again. I feel the warmth of his face and breath on my inner thigh as he traced circles on my thighs with his tongue. Before I could let out a light moan he took his tongues and thrusted it inside of me. I immediately grabbed his plaits. He went to town on me, licking me like a never-ending lollipop. The music was loud still so I didn't have to mask my moans. It felt so good that I wanted to cry. I fought back tears because I figured if I cried it would make me look inexperienced and I wanted him to think that I was used to this. After about 10 minutes my phone began vibrating none stop. He reached for my phone and handed it to me. I notched that he had accepted the call. I couldn't hang up because it was Adrienne. She was probably looking for me. "Hello!", I said trying to hide my moans. "Yes..mmm..I'm ready...ahhh..I'm saying bye to Q...ahhhh...I'll be right there give me three minutes..mmm.", I said and hung up the phone. After I hung up..Q stood up and leaned over me. He bent down and placed his fat tongue in my mouth allowing me to taste my own honey. That made me so hot that I wanted all of him. He stood up and put his cap back on. He then pulled my panties back up and I pulled my dress down. Reaching for my hand he said "Come on, let me walk you out." I knew that probably wasn't a good idea. My face was flushed and it looked like I had been crying so I didn't want anyone to make up any stories. "I probably should go out alone. They are waiting at the end of the hall and I think we should keep this on the low. It's sexy to me.", I said. "So next time it's your turn to hit me." "I sure will mama. You taste so sweet. I'm fighting not to throw you back on the desk.", he said taking a handful of my ass in his hands. I hug him and kiss him on the cheek. I have to make him crave me and want more so I decided against another kiss on the lips and I didn't even say good bye. I looked down and saw the print in his pants. Looks like what they say is true. The slim ones be packing. I open the door and before I can open it all the way I saw Adrienne standing there as if she was about to walk in. I slip out without letting her see inside. "Did Q leave already?", she asked. "Yea I said.", putting my head down in shame. "What's wrong with you? Looks like you've been crying.", she said. "Everything was just so good tonight. And Q made me feel good. That's all.", I replied before walking away towards the exit. "If you say so hoe.", Adrienne said following behind me.

[dontfollowinmyfootsteps-really]

There’s a thousand places, (to match the thousand pieces of my broken heart) where I want to start this writing, but I’m so fucking mad, and sad, so so sad, that THESE THINGS about which I must write (or be crippled by the confusion, and pain) are things at all, that words come to me in rushes, and I think them, and write them, hate them, then delete them. And I have emotions colliding against each other with such ferocity I’ve felt literally for the first time in my life, over the last few days, that I might pass out. If this is where I am at, I can’t begin to imagine where must be those whose pain is mine only by association, admiration, and friendship. By history. By love. This writing which had started out about 2 heartaches, I am refining, which is not to say making shorter, to be about just 1.

I want to be very clear about something; I am gutted by Chester’s death, and it is a HUGE  loss for everyone who knew him, loved him, and loved his music. And this time “one of us” for me, for my huge extended Arizona family of ridiculously talented creative feelers, really was ONE OF US. But I do not seek to appropriate the pain of those who REALLY lost him. The one who lost her husband, the children who lost their father. The parents who lost their son. The friends since youth, business partners, and band mates. To them I send endless amounts of love, because if my pain is at 11, theirs must be at 11,000,000.

Chester and I were not BFF’s. We were more like super casual F’s, (friends, just in case that might read other than intended) who were part of a brilliant, ridiculously talented, absolutely insane in the best, and worst ways, group of people in the music scene in Tempe, (really metro-Phoenix) AZ, at the same time. “Tempe Jangle Pop” was big then, with bands like The Gin Blossoms and The Refreshments making names for themselves on the national stage. But also, The Meat Puppets and their punk/country thing, and Jimmy Eat World, were (and are in the case of Jimmy’s band) kinda big time too. DJ Z-Trip, The Phunk Junkeez, Dead Hot Workshop…these are just some of the bands/artists who “made it” to varying degrees, from that time, and place, and only representative of a small percentage of the talent that existed then, in the Valley of the Sun.

By now the world knows that Chester in the mid to late 90’s, was the vocalist for the band Grey Daze, with his Club Tattoo business partner, Sean Dowdell on drums. I, when we first met, was working as an independent Booking Agent/Band Manager, and then later as the Local Marketing Representative for a record label group. Having also been a singer, and writer,  most of what we shared was the arsty fartsy creative thing. I was later to find out we also shared being molested at age 7, and drug addiction.

Its not very often I know the exact date I first met someone, but thanks to how we met, and the internet, I know the first time I met Chester was September 10th, 1994. I think he was 18, but maybe 17. I was the Booking Agent for, “Tripping With Grace” and Grey Daze was the support act for them that night. It was my first show with Tripping With Grace, and my first show in the Phoenix scene. Literally in the hundreds is the number of shows I’ve been to in my life, so thousands is the number of bands that I’ve seen, and I will NEVER forget that night. Not because he became CHESTER BENNINGTON of LINKIN PARK, but because “who the f is the skinny kid with the braids and the HUGE voice, radiating raw passion, and energy as he sings?!” Truly he was riveting to watch, to listen to, even then. That voice. THAT voice. And him, on stage, so young, unpolished, not yet having perfected the front man thing, but riveting none the less.

Forever in my mind I see his stance, singing, bent at the waist, leaning forward, which anyone whose had any vocal lessons knows is the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do when singing. Cupping the mic in his hands, which anyone who has done any singing into a mic know is the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do. Unless you’re Chester Bennington.

This is DAYS worth of writing, attempts at writing, and so little said. Because I stop to cry, and remember, and wonder, and to FEEL my sadness and my anger.  I find myself unable to read most of what is written in the last week about him, except the memories written by my friends, his friends, our friends, and the tributes paid to him by fans. These precious memories we carry of this man who touched so many. Not just with his music, but with his genuine kindness, and humility. I’d say I’ve strolled down memory’s lane, but it has been more like a sunshine filled day – running through broken glass. Looks shimmery and pretty in the light, but hurts like a bitch.

I wrote a blog a few weeks ago, after Chris Cornell committed suicide titled “Who Cares if One More Light Goes Out? In A Sky of a Million Stars… I do.” Taken from the Linkin Park song which Chester, with great emotion, sang the day after Chris’s passing. This particular blog is about how us ridiculously talented creative feelers are sort of fucked up in our own ways. But how some of us, inexplicably, make our way around, or through, our fucked-upness, to the other side. The side where we’re still fucked up, but we’re not actively, or passively, trying to off ourselves because of it. And I wrote of  3 (anonymous)  people whose lives to greater or lesser degrees I have been privileged to be a part of. These 3 people who have had certain situations and circumstances  sadly similar to each other, and mine, and each rose to such amazing heights, in spite of bullshit, and pain, and for a couple of them, (and me) in spite of stupid choices. And Chester was one of those of whom I was speaking. The one of whom I wrote “Rise doesn’t begin to describe this story’s (not yet finished) end.” Because he had “made it.” Until he didn’t.

The last time I had a real conversation with Chester before he became CHESTER BENNINGTON OF LINKIN PARK, has always been for reasons I could never quite understand, indelibly etched on my brain. 4 years had past since the first meeting. I’d been to who knows how many Grey Daze shows, gotten my first tattoo by a Club Tattoo artist at an event called “Club Sex” which was basically live music and tattoos happening all under one roof, on my birthday (known to some as Valentine’s Day), and had seen him out and about every now and again because; music scene.  Now working for Never Records Group, I had one of our bands playing a show at Gibson’s in Tempe.

At one point in the evening I was outside the venue, and Chester came walking up. We hugged, exchanged hellos, and “what are you doing here” sort of questions. And then we talked about real life, and heartache. His heartache. And I see him now, just like I do every time I’ve thought of this the last 20 years, I see him, leaning up against the wall, hands pushed in his pockets, back curved, leaning forward, head down, one knee bent, and one foot on the wall behind him. When he’d look up, the emotion, the hurt around what he was sharing with me, was written all over his face, and reflected in his eyes. His life, and hurt at that moment in it is not my story to tell the world, and is ancient history now. What I can say is that he told me of new opportunities, and changes he was going to be making because he had to make them. I don’t recall what I said, but I’m sure I offered some words in which I’d hoped he’d find comfort, and hugs, and wishes that all would turn out for the best. Then we went inside, him to enjoy a show, and me to work my show.

Within a year or so of that is when he started to become CHESTER BENNINGTON OF LINKIN PARK. Every time I’ve thought of that conversation over the years, I’ve thought about how desperately sad he was. How he had no idea that the choices, and changes he felt he had to make, were going to lead him to heights none of the rest of us ridiculously talented creative feelers in Tempe, Arizona, could in our wildest dreams imagine achieving. I know by his own admission that even in his happy moments, he was prone to self sabotage, but I’d like to believe that there were at least some periods of time where he was able to ride the wave of happiness.

Grey Daze was set to do a reunion show in Tempe on September 23rd this year, and I was flying home for it. Having only seen Chester a couple of times since 1998, and always in some sort of mob fest meet and greet situation, I’ve never had the chance to remind him of that day, and how sad he was, and how far he’d made it. Not just in music, but in life, with the work he did with MusiCares, and in love with Talinda, with his kids, with Club Tattoo. I wanted to tell him how much hope he’d always given me, and how privileged I’d always felt that he, the human being Chester, not the eventually famous guy, had shared something so deeply personal, and allowed me to hold that space for him. And like so many others around the world I wanted to thank him for music, and lyrics, that brought me a measure of comfort in so many moments in time when nothing else could. Even if it was just because his was a voice from home, and a challenge to “scream” with! In this last week I have mourned the loss of that opportunity to say those words, which I do know he is aware of anyway.

This really has been a tough one that has brought back around my lifelong deep think about why so many of us ridiculously talented creative feelers go so low, even when soaring so high. I have grieved for him, for the pain he must have felt. I have cried copious amounts of tears. And screamed. And sang, And danced, And walked. And run. I have asked WHY god bless it WHY? I’ve sent waves of love, and peace, and healing, to the hearts that need it most, so that I could at least do something. I’ve been moved by the tributes to him from ALL OVER THE WORLD! Over and over reading words, or watching videos in which someone is talking about how they owe their life to Chester, and Linkin Park. I have had coworkers, and friends tell me that they directly credit Chester with getting them through some of the worst times of their lives.

Tonight, the day after the memorial for Chester, I have found myself in the place I feel I have to be, and that feels right, with all of this. I, as usual, have no answers, but, what is a possible truth that resonates for me, even while knowing it doesn’t comfort those he left behind, is that his work here was done. He has touched thousands upon thousands of lives with his music, and with his heart. He has been a voice to give courage to those struggling with depression, and addiction. He has literally saved lives because of those things. And now, he has “leveled up.” With his passing people from all over the world are coming together to celebrate him, to mourn the loss of him, and to comfort one another.  Funds are being donated in his name, which will help a someone in need someday. People who may not have reached out for help, are doing so. Suicide prevention information is being spread across social media at a rate I’m certain is much higher than usual. Chester’s friends in music are openly speaking of his passing, and urging anyone who needs help to seek it, and to reach out to each other for support, and friendship.

For me the loss of Chester has brought about the renewed desire to have the conversation about how the paradigm of the tortured/suffering/starving artist is played out. How there must be a way to create, and be happy, all at once. Not always of course. Not fake “church lady” happy. But that we don’t need to be unhappy because its what we’re “supposed” to be. We don’t have to self sabotage when we do find ourselves happy. We must tell the ridiculously talented creative feelers that it is OK to be those things when they are tiny humans! Nurture that. Give them the opportunity to explore that. Don’t bullshit them about it either. It’s not pretty, and it sure as hell isn’t always fun. But don’t tell them they have to be a Dr,/lawyer/scientist whatever. Teach them the value of taking care of reality, while pursuing their dreams!

I get that I’m not solving the problems with this very 101 “choose happy” sort of thing. See above and “I don’t have any answers.” But I am willing to shine a light, to be a light, to give a hug, or be the ear or shoulder that is needed. There can’t be anything more important to do in this life than that, right? If I never remembered another time when I made a difference in a persons life, I will always know that even for just a minute, I helped a sad someone feel, if not better, heard.

The last thing I want, need, to say, is Thank You to that skinny kid, with the braids, and the HUGE voice. Thank you for crossing paths with me in this reality. Thank you for the music that was the sound track for so many moments large, and small in my life, and not just sad moments, at all!! So many happy memories of you, with Grey Daze, and Linkin Park. Thank you for writing lyrics that I understand at a soul level. Thank you for your courage in being forthcoming about your abuse, your addiction, and your depression because it helped me when I was in my deepest, most dark place, where I didn’t care if I woke up the next day, feel quite so crazy, knowing it was just me who’d ever gone there.. Most importantly, thank you for giving me your trust, and the opportunity to be whatever you needed at that time, all those years ago. I will not say goodbye to you, I will simply say see you later, for whenever later may be, and I love you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Photos not mine but were found via Google search.

                                                    -I was privileged enough to be working in the (son of a bitching, eat souls for breakfast, and puppies for lunch, but has always been my love) music industry in the mid to late 90’s in metro-Phoenix, where Chester was in a band called Grey Daze.

  For Chester, For Me, For You There's a thousand places, (to match the thousand pieces of my broken heart) where I want to start this writing, but I'm so fucking mad, and sad, so so sad, that THESE THINGS about which I must write (or be crippled by the confusion, and pain) are things at all, that words come to me in rushes, and I think them, and write them, hate them, then delete them.

[maddystar1theyoutuber]

Chapter 2 rose: autons, a friend and a mad man.

-1 year later-

“Alice what did I say about you and mic being gross.” I said with a smirk as micky and Alice laugh.

“oh, shut up.” Alice said still laughing.

“anyway, catch you two later.” Micky said as we say goodbye. me and Alice head to Henrik's where we work.

Could this explain why if I’m not here the universe will collapse, I thought this all over as Alice and me head to Henrik's where we work.

-closing time-

Alice and I are walking out of Henrik's, when a guard called out and held out a bag of money in front of Alice.

“hey why don’t you go on ahead. I’ll drop this off and see you tomorrow.” Alice offered.

“if you’re sure.”

“yeah. See you tomorrow. Bye”

I walk out of the building and put my earphones in and play thanks for the memory’s by fall out boys.

I made my way to my motorbike. When I got there, I had the music up to loud, so I didn’t hear the Tardis materialise behind me.

I felt the wind pick up and my music changes to roaring 20s by panic at the disco, I look up to see not a cloud.

Then suddenly a hand touches my shoulder and I look to see who it was and my jaw drops.

It was THE DOCTOR.

-the doctors. p.o.v.-

I step out of the Tardis to notice a girl looking up at the sky.

But what court my attention was the scarf and leather jacket.

The same scarf I wore in my 4th regeneration. And the same leather jacket I am wearing right now.

I got curios and approached her.

As I did, I heard the music playing thanks to my time lord hearing it was roaring 20s by panic at the disco.

This made me wonder who she was, clearly not from this time sense that song is made in 13 years from now.

I tap her shoulder and she spun around.

Her jaw dropped and she looked surprised, like she knew me, but I didn’t know her.

Then I notice her look over my shoulder to the Tardis.

That confirmed it she knew who I was but how.

“do I know you.” I asked and her attention snaps back to me shock still written on her face.

“Val…  Valerie harper. And you shouldn’t be worrying about me there’s a girl in the basement filled with autons.” She said as she spun around and got on her motorbike.

She put on her helmet and said “don’t worry next time we meet I’ll explain everything. See you tomorrow doctor.”

And then she was gone I was surprised that she knew me, but it was unnerving at the same time.

Who is she?

-the next day-

- Valerie’s p.o.v-

I woke up to my phone going off, I answer, and it was Jackie going off at me for leaving Alice behind and that Henrik's blow up, but I didn’t get a call yet, so I acted like I was surprised.

“oh my god, is Alice ok.” I said in fake shock, and thankfully Jackie bort it and I was off the hook.

“she’s alright. But seeing how you two don’t have a job anymore she’s sleeping in” Jackie said.

“hey, I think I’m gone a come over so me and Alice can job hunt together. Is that ok with you” I asked.

“of cores its alright, I’ll pop the ketal on then sea you soon. Bye” Jackie said and hung up.

I got up and put on worn jeans, red converse’s, a white and black checker hoody, a tank top and my scarf. (the 4th doctors’ scarf.)

Knock, knock, knock.

I was already half whey down the hall, so I answered the door and was surprised to who it was.

It was the doctor, THE DOCTOR.

I mean yes, I sore him last night but that was in town, this was my apartment, my front door, the last place to see the doctor.

I quickly shake my head and stutter “wh… what are you doing here.”

“I could ask you the same question.” He said sounding offended.

“I live here.” I replied

“I must have got the wrong signal. You're not plastic, are you?” the doctor said and tapped my forehead.

And I remembered something the 10th doctor said.

-flash back-

“The only event we know didn’t happen is bad Wolfe. And because it never happened, we don’t know why.” The doctor said.

“which bad Wolfe would that be. When Alice becomes the bad Wolfe or the end of the universe.” I asked and both missy and the doctor look at me like they had no idea there where two.

“ok I’ll take that as neither” I said.

“wait. Who’s rose.” The doctor asked and I was surprised.

“in your 9th regeneration you met a girl in the basement of a shop called Henrik's. her name was rose” I said.

“oh, her I never sore her after Henrik's, wellll, I did accidently found her flat, and polled off her boyfriend’s head she just ran off, after that I travelled with a girl called anna.” He said.

-end flash back-

“no see you then” he said and was about to walk off, when I grab him and poll back into my flat.

“no, we need to talk. And I know your curios how much I know about you and let’s just say it’s a dangerous amount” I said, I notice he became more interested and followed me to the living room.

“you make it sound as if this is the first time we’ve met, yet you know who I am so tell me who are you.” he said, and the look in he’s eyes tell me to tread carefully, or the oncoming storm will pay a visit.

I sigh and sat on the couch and him to do the same on the opposite from me.

I take a deep breath trying to control my fangirling which is hard when I the man I’ve known sense I was 4, is seating right in front of you.

“I’m from a parallel universe your life is a tv show, it started back in 1963 when Ian and Barbra first stepped into the Tardis, but got cancelled in 1989, there was a movie in 1996 which is about the advencher in which you regenerate into your 8th regeneration, and in 2005 there was a reboot that was of what you are currently doing but it didn’t follow your perspective, it followed the girl you met last night rose, oh, and it was still running when I left. As for the time war it was in the gap, so my knowledge is vague, but I do know what you did and that this actually your 10th regeneration. Any questions” I asked.

the look on his face was a mix of horror, surprised, curiosity, anger, sadness and suspicion.

“so, say if I believed you do you know what I’ve recently lived through.” I nodded my head and biting my lower lip.

pity and sadness in my eyes, which he court on to. Then I noticed in his eyes he was trying to keep rage under control, But I could see he was falling

“doctor you where the one who brought me here to fix time and make shore pacific events happen or it will destroy the universe.” I said trying to ease the storm.

But instead it made it whirs, he lunged at me grabbing both my wrists and slammed them into the couch either side of my head.

“you apes are all the same violent and self-destructive, you watch death and distracted, and call it entertainment.” He almost shouted the last bit.

“your wrong, I can’t speak for every other human, but I watched the show, I watched it for the advencher, hope and bravery.” His grip tightened and I winced at the pain.

“and besides if you hate us apes, why do you keep saving us.” I asked trying to waver his anger without letting him know his hurting me, because it would hurt him more.

But he tightened his grip even more to the point if he went any tighter hid crush my wrists.

My face contorts and I grunt in pain.

The doctor realised what he was doing and quickly let go of me and backed away.

“I’m… I’m sorry” he was so quiet and clearly ashamed of himself.

“no, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have mentioned it, I know it’s still pretty recent for you. sorry” I said.

Then the doctor noticed my wrists were already starting to bruise.

He sighed and opened his mouth to speak. But I raise my hand and said “don’t, I know you didn’t mean to, so drop it.”

He sighed again and nodded.

��right then, we need a few ground rules, first off, no telling me my future, unless the situation say’s otherwise. understood.” He said, with a sudden mood change.

“yeah, so we shod go follow that signal” I said.

I quickly call Jackie telling her that something came up and that I couldn’t come over.

Then we left my apartment as the doctor and me followed the signal to an apartment complex.

I realized it was the same complex that Alice lives in.

“this will be difficult to explain” I mutter under my breath.

“what are you on about.” The doctor asked while ducking down to play with a cat flap.

Then suddenly someone on the other side pushed back, seeing the doctors face and opening the door.

Alice emerged seeing us confusion written on her face to why I was with him, I gave her a small sheepish smile and waited for the onslaught of questions I would have to answer.

But before she could ask the doctor cut in. “What're you doing here?”

“I live here.” Alice said.

“Well, what do you do that for?” the doctor asked, confused about what she just did a moment ago.

“Because I do. I'm only at home because someone blew up my job.” Alice said a bit annoyed with the doctor.

“I must have got the wrong signal again. You're not plastic either, are you?” the doctor asked and tapped Alice’s head like he did mine. “No, bonehead. Bye then, come on.”

Then rose grabbed him, (like I did back at my flat.) and dragged him inside while saying “You two. Inside. Right now.”

I followed them inside, and Alice gave me the, ‘you have a lot of explaining to do.’

I sighed as Jackie asked who was at the door.

Alice and me move to her bedroom door, and I waive hello as Alice says “It's val, and a guy who’s here about last night. He's part of the inquiry. Give us ten minutes.”

Jackie gave me a smile and then said to the doctor as Alice and me leave. “She deserves compensation.”

I sat on the couch and waited for the inevitable.

I could still here the conversation the doctor and Jackie where having, as I did so.

“Oh, we're talking millions.” The doctor said.

I can see the seen play in my head as Jackie stood up and said, “I'm in my dressing gown.”

“Yes, you are.” The doctor replies being the oblivious idiot he is.

“There's a strange man in my bedroom.” Jackie said

“Yes, there is.” The doctor said.

“Well, anything could happen.” Jackie remarked.

The doctor now finally realized what she was getting at said flatly “No.” and then left to the living room.

“Don't mind the mess.” Alice said, when the doctor walked into the room “Do you want a coffee?”

“Might as well, thanks. Just milk.” The doctor said.

“no thanks” I said and watched the doctor walk around the apartment.

The doctor suddenly picked up a magazine on the coffee table and said, “That won't last, he's gay and she's an alien.”

“I'm not blaming you, even if it was just some sort of joke that went wrong.” Alice called from the kitchen.

the doctor then picked up a book and flicked through the pages and said “Hmm. Sad ending.”

At this point I started humming Birthday by All Time Low.

I stayed quiet enuf, so Alice didn’t hear, but the doctor could still hear.

He glanced at me, and our eyes met for a brief second when Alice called out again “They said on the news they'd found a body.”

The doctor then picked up a envelop and raid out loud “Alice Tyler.”

Then he walked over to a mirror and acted like he does when he regenerates.

“Ah, could've been worse. Look at the ears.” He said mostly to himself.

“All the same, he was nice. Nice bloke.” Alice called once again.

The doctor picked up a deck of cards but be for he can try and shuffle them; I grab them from him and shake my head and whisper “you’ll make a mess. And yes, I know that.”

He looked curios and whispered back “the show.”

I nodded my head as Alice called out again. “Anyway, if we are going to go to the police, I want to know what I'm saying.”

I then move the coffee table to the side of the room, which piqued the interest of the doctor and he whispered, “what are you doing.”

“preventing a mess that me and Alice will have to explain to Jackie.” I replied.

The doctor raised an eyebrow and was going to say something, but the cat flap made a noise.

We both look in the direction of the noise, but I couldn’t remember what it was so when the doctor looked at me to know what it was, I shrugged.

“What's that, then? You got a cat?” the doctor called out to Alice and walked to the couch to look.

“no” Alice called back, as the auton arm grabbed the doctor by the throat and fall into a chair.

My eyes went wide and I rushed to him, to help but it was stronger then the both of us.

“We did have, but now they're just strays. They come in off the estate.” Alice said and came out of the kitchen with the coffee for her and the doctor. When she noticed I moved the coffee table.

She was confused about it but didn’t say anything instead said “I told Mickey to chuck that out. Anyway, I don't even know your name. Doctor, what was it?”

Just as she put the coffee’s down, I finally got it off the doctor, only for it to latch on to Alice’s face.

The doctor and I try and pull it off only for the doctor an Alice to fall back to where the coffee table use to be, as I jumped out of the way in time so I didn’t fall with them.

Alice got up and on to the couch, as the doctor kept pulling at it I reached in to his pocket and grabbed the sonic and said “I’ll get it off you fined the kill signal.”

He grabbed the sonic as I got it off Alice. Only for it to push me to the ground and try and grab my face.

At this point the doctor found the kill signal.

The arm went limp and left Alice and me panting slightly.

“It's all right, I've stopped it. There you go, you see? Armless.” The doctor joked and tossed the arm to Alice.

“Do you think?” Alice said, then hit him in the arm with it.

“ow.” He then rubbed his arm as he got up and walked off with rose following.

I on the other hand moved the coffee table back and made excuse for Alice suddenly and to tell rose I went home.

then I left the flat. I knew that there was no point to going after them.

So I made my whey home.

-some time later-

I was in my living room when Alice texted me to meat up for pizza. And I instantly remembered what happens and I decided I had to go.

I grabbed my bag, scarf and helmet and left.

-some time later-

When I arrived, I pulled up in the alleyway the Tardis hadn’t parked in yet.

I decided to wait for the doctor and texted Alice that traffic is bad, so she won’t get worried.

While waiting I played a song called Nice2KnoU by All Time Low and sang to it.

 We always say that we’ll keep in touch,

Nobody does but it don’t matter much,

One last call at the corner store,

The night’s on ice if we don’t score,

One more time for second chances,

We just want to do some damage,

So long,

So nice to know ya, nice to know ya

I’m sorry to say,

We can’t go back to yesterday,

This night is far from over, far from over

Let’s get carried away,

Can’t go back to yesterday,

Call out the names that you used to know,

Singing along in broken stereo,

Crossfire that ya can’t ignore,

I know I’m not around much anymore, anymore

One more time for second chances,

We just want to do some damage,

So long,

So nice to know ya, nice to know ya

I’m sorry to say,

We can’t go back to yesterday,

This night is far from over, far from over

Let’s get carried away,

Can’t go back to yesterday

One last time for old time’s sake,

One more bend before we break,

One more time as if we planned it

We just want to do some damage,

So long,

So nice to know ya, nice to know ya

I’m sorry to say,

We can’t go back to yesterday,

This night is far from over, far from over

Let’s get carried away,

Can’t go back to yesterday,

One last time for old time’s sake,

One more bend before we break

The one thing I didn’t notice was the Tardis materialise behind me again have way through the song, so I didn’t notice the doctor listening to me sing.

“blimey you can sing. Wasn’t expecting that.” A voice said from behind me making me jump and spin round to see the doctor leaning on the Tardis.

My face flushed instantly, and I asked, “how long have you been standing there.”

“long enuf… so you coming or staying out here.” He asked.

“coming.” I said and walked in with him.

We spotted Alice and fake micky, and I sore a waiter offering people champagne and I grab a bottle and hand it to the doctor.

“what do we need champagne for.” He asked

“that’s not micky it’s an auton. And only one of us got invited. Wait here I want to get Alice away from it” I said. And he nodded.

I made my way to the table and said, “sorry I’m lait traffic was crazy.”

“that’s alright val.” Alice said oblivious to micky’s skin and creepy grin. “anyway, Do you think I should try the hospital? Suki said they had jobs going in the canteen. Is that it then, dishing out chips. I could do A Levels. I don't know. It's all Jimmy Stone's fault. I only left school because of him. Look where he ended up. What do you think?”

“So, where did you meet this Doctor?” fake micky asked.

“I'm sorry, wasn't I talking about me for a second?” Alice said.

“Because I reckon it started back at the shop, am I right? Was he something to do with that?” fake micky asked.

“mic I think the shop is the last thing al want to talk about.” I said and only got a glare as a response.

“no” Alice said to stop micky from glaring at me.

“come on” fake micky pressed.

“Sort of.” Alice said.

“What was he doing there?” fake micky pressed again.

“'m not going on about it, Mickey. Really, I'm not, because, I know it sounds daft, but I don't think it's safe. I think he's dangerous.” Alice said clearly wanting to drop the conversation.

“But you can trust me, sweetheart. Babe, (deep) sugar, babe, sugar. You can tell me anything. Tell me about the Doctor and what he's planning, and I can help you, Alice. Because that's all I really want to do, sweetheart, babe, babe, sugar, sweetheart.” fake micky pressed.

I noticed the doctor out of the corner of my eye. I put my hands in my lap and lean back in my chair so the doctor could see me signalling him to come over.

“What're you doing that for?” Alice asked confused.

When the doctor got to the table I glanced up at him and he said “Your champagne.”

“We didn't order any champagne.” Fake micky dismissed him and pressed on “Where's the Doctor?” “Madam, your champagne.” He offered Alice to try and get her attention.

“It's not ours.” She dismissed him as well. “Mickey, what is it? What's wrong?”

“I need to find out how much you know, so where is he?” fake micky said.

“Doesn't anybody want this champagne?” the doctor slightly whined.

“Look, we didn't order it.” fake micky finally looked up and sore the doctor. “Ah. Gotcha.”

I shot up and puled Alice behind me and the doctor, who started shaking the bottle of champion.

“Don't mind me. I'm just toasting a happy group of friends. On the house!” the doctor exclaimed before releasing the cork, which flow into fake micky’s forehead.

After a moment fake micky spat it out and said “Anyway”

Fake micky stood up and turned his hand into a paddle, he smashed it into the table and the doctor lunges at him and pulls off his head.

“Don't think that's going to stop me.” Fake micky say’s and a man screams.

Fake micky’s body stood and my body reacts. I set of the fire alarm and yelled “Everyone out! Out now!”

Every one ran out the front door as the doctor, me and Alice, ran out the back.

The doctor sonic’ed the door and said to me “you might want to bring your bike along.”

I walked to my bike and walked it into the Tardis all the while Alice protested to going inside.

“You can't hide inside a wooden box. It's going to get us! Doctor! Valerie!” she protested.

“Alice it will make sense if you come on.” I said before walking inside.

The doctor was setting up the head and I leave my bike out of the way.

Alice burst through the doors and out again.

I sighed and said, “it’s not going to be culture shock.”

The doctor glances up at me and back to what he was doing, before he could ask what I meant Alice burst in again.

“It's going to follow us!” Alice said.

“The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door and believe me.” I said instead of the doctor.

“You see, the arm was too simple, but the head's perfect. I can use it to trace the signal back to the original source. Right. Where do you want to start?” the doctor said

“Er, the inside's bigger than the outside?” Alice said

“Yes.” The doctor replies

“It's alien.”

“Yeah”

“are you alien”

“yeah”

“yes, is that all right”

“yeah”

“it's called the Tardis, this thing. T A R D I S. That's Time and Relative Dimension in Space.” I informed her.

The doctor looked at me curiously, but I ignored him.

“and you are you alien. because you seem to know a lot.”

“no… not exactly. I’m from a parallel universe.” I explained to Alice, who then started crying. I walk over to her and comfort her.

“That's okay. Culture shock. Happens to the best of us.” The doctor said. And I rolled my eyes.

“Did they kill him? Mickey? Did they kill Mickey? Is he dead?” she asked, and before I can tell her ‘no’ the doctor interrupted me.

“Oh. I didn't think of that.”

“He's my boyfriend. You pulled off his head. They copied him and you didn't even think? And now you're just going to let him melt?”

“Melt?” the doctor echoed and turned around to see the head melting. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no!”

He ran around the consol as he flipped levers and pressed buttons.

“What're you doing?” Alice asked

“Following the signal. It's fading. Wait a minute, I've got it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Almost there. Almost there. Here we go!” the Tardis lands and the doctor rushes out.

I follow as Alice calls out “You can't go out there. It's not safe.”

“I lost the signal, I got so close.” The doctor said

“We've moved. Does it fly?”

“Disappears there and reappears here.” I replied, stealing the doctor’s line again.

“If we're somewhere else, what about that headless thing? It's still on the loose.” Alice said.

“It melted with the head. Are you going to witter on all night?” the doctor said before I could reply

“I'll have to tell his mother.” She said and I just sighed knowing there was no stopping the argument now.

The doctor gave a curios look and Alice got angry and said “Mickey. I'll have to tell his mother he's dead, and you just went and forgot him, again! You were right, you are alien.”

“Look, if I did forget some kid called Mickey” the doctor exclaimed.

“Yeah, he's not a kid.”

“ It's because I'm trying to save the life of every stupid ape blundering on top of this planet, all right?”

“no”

I decided to cut in and said “Alice maybe you should go home. Don’t worry about micky his alive I’ll go with the doctor and get him back, but I think it would be safer for you to go home.”

She was surprised and nodded, she hugged me and said, “thank you you’re a good friend.”

I hugged back, we pull apart and she runs back to her flat.

I tern to see the doctor pondering by the railing.

“so, exactly what are we looking for.” I said

“I thought you had foreknowledge.” He asked.

“yes, but I’m not aloud to tell you remember. So, I’m following the script. So, go with it.”

“Like a transmitter. Round and massive, slap bang in the middle of London.” He say’s walking in front of the London eye, and I couldn’t help but smugly grin at him. “A huge circular metal structure like a dish, like a wheel. Radial. Close to where we're standing. Must be completely invisible.” He then noticed me grinning and asked “what”

I gesture to behind him with my head and he turned to see what he thought was nothing and asked again. “What is it”

I made the same gesture and he turned round again still not seeing it.

I sighed and echoed his words from before “A huge circular metal structure like a dish, like a wheel. Radial. Close to where we're standing” I move to his side and said in a sing song voice “like the London eye.”

The doctor looked at me and then the London eye, and back to me.

“Oh.” He glanced at the London eye again and back to me “Fantastic!”

He grabbed my hand and we ran to the London eye.

When we arrived, he said “Think of it, plastic all over the world, every artificial thing waiting to come alive. The shop window dummies, the phones, the wires, the cables”

I couldn’t stop myself from saying “The breast implants.”

“Still, we've found the transmitter. The Consciousness must be somewhere underneath.”

I ran to a ledge and see the manhole and said, “What about down here?”

The doctor looked over and sees the manhole and said, “Looks good to me.”

We ran down to the manhole and went down. The doctor helped me off the ladder and we walk into a room and see it in the vat.

“The Nestene Consciousness. That's it, inside the vat. A living plastic creature.” The doctor said.

“ok, so you going to talk with it or not.” I asked.

“I've got to give it a chance.” He said and I smile.

“don’t you always.” He returned the smile and walked up to the railing with a serious expression.

“I seek audience with the Nestene Consciousness under peaceful contract according to convention 15 of the Shadow Proclamation.” He said It made some gurgling noises. “Thank you. If I might have permission to approach?” he asked, and it made more gurgling noises.

We approach an I spot micky, I crouch down in front of him and said “Mickey, it's me It's okay. It's all right.”

“That thing down there, the liquid. val, it can talk!” he exclaimed.

“mic it’s all going to be ok. Just calm down and take deep breaths, can you do that for me.” I tell him and he complies.

“your good at that.” The doctor said heading down to the Nestene Consciousness.

“I had a little brother… he’d be 11 now.” I said, my chest started tightening but I shook it off. And focused on keeping micky calm.

“Am I addressing the Consciousness? Thank you. If I might observe, you infiltrated this civilisation by means of warp shunt technology. So, may I suggest, with the greatest respect, that you shunt off?” the doctor said. And it made more noises.

“Oh, don't give me that. It's an invasion, plain and simple. Don't talk about constitutional rights. I am talking! This planet is just starting. These stupid little people have only just learnt how to walk, but they're capable of so much more. I'm asking you on their behalf. Please, just go.” He started pleading. And to autons came out from behind.

“behind you.” I cried out but the autons still got to him. One restrained his arms and the other pulled out the Anti-plastic.

the Nestene Consciousness started to have an argument with the doctor.

“That was just insurance, I wasn't going to use it. I was not attacking you. I'm here to help. I'm not your enemy. I swear, I'm not… What do you mean?”

Suddenly a door open to reveal the Tardis.

“No. Oh, no. Honestly, no. Yes, that's my ship. That's not true. I should know, I was there. I fought in the war. It wasn't my fault. I couldn't save your world! I couldn't save any of them!” the doctor tried to reason with it but it wouldn’t listen.

“It's going to the final phase. It's starting the invasion! Get out, Valeri! Just leg it now!” he cried.

I could see some strange blue lightning launch out and the doctor exclaimed “It's the activation signal. It's transmitting! Get out, Valeri! Just get out! Run!”

Suddenly the stairs collapsed, and I pulled micky to the Tardis.

“We're going to die!” micky cried.

I started forming a plan looking for everything I needed and then I heard the doctor cry out “No!”

“Time Lord” the Nestene Consciousness exclaimed.

I went to put my plan in to motion, when micky grabbed my arm. And cried “Just leave him! There's nothing you can do!”

I pulled micky off and grabbed the axe. I broke the change and swung across. “Valerie!” the doctor yelled.

I managed to knock off the autons with the Anti-plastic into the vat and the doctor through the other in.

The doctor grabbed me and helped me down on my feet. We looked down at the Nestene Consciousness. The doctor and me share a look, the doctor and I both say in unison, “Now we're in trouble.”

We ran back to the Tardis and the doctor, micky and I went in the doctor dematerialised the Tardis and landed it in an alleyway.

Micky ran out of the Tardis, I followed to try and calm him down.

I crouched down next to micky and said, “its ok now just take deep breaths.”

“Nestene Consciousness? Easy.” The doctor boasted.

“say’s the man who would be dead if it wasn't for me” I said getting up and facing him.

“Yes, I would. Thank you. Right then, I'll be off, unless, er, I don't know, you could come with me. This box isn't just a London hopper, you know. It goes anywhere in the universe free of charge.” He offered and I was surprised.

“Don't. He's an alien. He's a thing.” Micky cried.

“He's not invited. What do you think? You could stay here, fill your life with work and food and sleep, or you could go anywhere.”

“are you shore… I mean I know your future. And I know that you don’t like or trust people who know your future.”

“yes, but after everything I’ve seen you do. I know you’re a trustworthy person. So, you coming or what.”

“you can’t, what about Alice and Jackie.” Micky tried to convince me to stay.

I crouch down to eye level and said “mic they never needed me, and this is a once in a life time opportunity. Can I trust you to give Alice this for me?” I handed him an envelope and walked to the Tardis.

But little did I know this was the beginning of a new chapter and it was going to be one hell of a ride.

-end of chapter 2-

-chapter 3 the end of the world: the new chapter begins.

[winstonhcomedy]

“Dope A-F”- 1/24-1/25 - “Booed Off Stage and Reg Charity”

Sweet lord almighty. Thursday/Friday were some slobbrerknockers of shows. I’ve got three bad boys to cover so let’s hop right to it laydees.

Earlier in the week I got asked by Travis Carl if I could fill in for him at The Richmond Funny Bone hosting for the “Fresh Drunk Stoned Tour”. I of course agreed. Luckily the open mic this night was The Camel hosted by Jameson Babbowski. This was an early mic so I got to get two sets in.

I head over to The Camel right after work. I am the first comic there. The Camel always has a chill fun vibe to it. When Jameson gets there I look at the lineup and I know like half of the comics. The influx of new comedians continues. It is getting kind of insane. I feel like more and more experienced comics are either moving away/giving it up/taking a step back from standup. Which is a shame. I love the new comics, but I do miss the feeling of going to an open mic and it being filled with all the dudes I started with.

New comics are always good for a scene. As people trickle out you need more comics to trickle in. They bring audience members, and a sense of enthusiasm that is kind of gone from people who have been doing standup a while. The downside is when your scene becomes all new comics booking showcases becomes difficult. You want to give people opportunities, but at the same time a showcase full of newbies is just an open mic.

There is a family with a small child at the show. They tell Jameson they are ok with the swearing and are going to leave aft4er a quick bite. I get to see a few of my friends like Alex Castagne and Mike Engle. So that was a nice little hang.

Jameson goes up and does a quick hosting set before bringing me up. I go up and talk to the kid a little bit and get a few laughs. The crowd is interesting. Paying attention, but not really loving the comedy yet. My set goes pretty well. I need to write some new stuff because I am getting to the point where the new stuff I am working on is starting to become fully formed. The jokes go ok. Some hit pretty hard and some get nothing. All in all I was able to riff a couple new tings, and work on wording. I’d give this set a C-. I grab my stuff and run to my car to head to Short Pump to get to the Funny Bone.

It has been a while since I have been on a show here. I walk in and say hi to the staff. Every time I come by they have some new wait staff, but a lot of the people who’ve been there for years are still around. People like Cory, Derek, Buz, Brittany, and of course Jason the gm. I get to talk to everybody for a bit and shoot the shit before the comics from the “Fresh, Drunk, and Stoned” tour show up.

They were coming from VB so they had a comic down there drive them up and they gave them a guest spot. Drew Grizzly is the comedian who drove them. I have only seen him perform a couple times at clash so I don’t know much about his standup. I know the couple times at clash I wasn’t super impressed, but also that was forever ago and I think he was a super new comic at that time.

All three of the headliners were super cool. They were Tim Hanlon (LA), Matt Bellak (Chi) and Franco Harris (Chi). Very chill dudes and fun to hang with. all real professionals as well. Franco came in and had the complete run down written up ready to hand over to the sound guy Buz. I was going to be doing 10 up top, Drew was going to do 7, then each of them would do 20 each to close out the show.

They also did a great job of packing the show on a Thursday night. They didn’t sell out but they came damn close. I think there was close to about 220 people in there. Which is definitely a treat for a Thursday.

I go up first and have a super strong hosting set. I tried some material I’ve never done there before and it went over great. My “problems with China” bit hit super hard, and my “Angel/Devil” closer really got them. I’d give this set a B+. I really had them in a good place to get this show going and I bring up Drew.

I walk to the green room while he starts his set. I don’t really pay attention to it. He’s not getting a huge laugh or anything, but I don't think anything of it. I am talking in the back with the guys, and after like 2 minutes we start to hear a noise coming from the green room. I can’t really tell what the noise it, but is most assuredly not laughter.

I start to listen closer and realize it is boos. Drew is bombing so hard he is getting booed. Tim and I go out to check it out and we are just in awe. This crowd that was super into the show had now completely turned on him. Apparently he had started his set and said he had weird pubes. A woman responded, “you got a problem.” Instead of rolling with it he doubled down and started to be aggressive with the lady. He had not built up the goodwill in his set to warrant this type of response. So the crowd started to turn. He also mentioned that he doesn’t date black women (he is a black guy) which honestly is where he really lost the crowd (primarily black audience).

I have never seen this kind of shit before. It is surreal. People are losing their minds yelling at him, booing him, screaming to get him off the stage. People are standing up out of their seats. Like it had the vibe that someone was going to come up on stage and get him. Jason came out of his office wondering what was going on. It was too much for security to silence everyone. He was getting the light from the back, and he wouldn’t get off stage.

I don’t know how much time he did but it felt like a millennium in that atmosphere. It might be the worst set I've ever seen in my life. I was inching closer and closer to the stage trying to give him a hint. Also I was worried I was going to have to go on stage and take the microphone from him. The worst part is I have to go up after this. I tell Tim I am going to try my best to get the crowd back and do something before he gets on stage.

Drew finally gets off, and I go back up amidst a sea of boos. They’re still yelling and I give them a second to see if they’ll die down enough to try to get a word in. I finally grab the mic and say, “I think this is the first time in history where a room full of black people are like, ‘Thank God the white guys back’”, and it absolutely murders. People stand back up and are screaming and hollering. People are giving me high fives, and I'm really selling it leaning over with the mic stand talking to people and getting them pumped up. I bring Tim Hanlon on stage and the show is back on track. This is now one of my favorite comedy memories.

I go back to the green room and Drew is talking about it, and Franco and Matt are giving him good advice. Bombing happens, everybody does it, this is not a reflection of an entire comedians career or act. I do know that I have never in my life seen a worse set, and at least Drew knows it can’t get worse. He was in good spirits, and we all ended up having a dope rest of our night. I get a lot of compliments and I get to watch Tim, Matt, and Franco have super hot sets to end this amazing night. I also get a weekend of work from Jason in March. I love filling in dates on my calendar.

After the show I stick around, take some pictures, and meet some people. I say my goodbyes to everybody and then head to my car. I drive home enjoying the end of this awesome night.

1/25

The next day after work I took a nice nap, and then headed down to perform on Tidewater Tonight in Virginia Beach at Pinboys. This is a talkshow co-created and hosted by Roberto Lundgren Rodrigues. This isn’t a standup show. I had to create a character to be interviewed. I low-key love stuff like this, but I don’t get the opportunity to do it often.

I came up with the character several months ago when I was first asked, but I kept having to reschedule. I finally got an open Friday and was ready to unveil Reg Charity.  Basically the character idea I had was I'd be a disgraced, southern, ex PBA bowler who was banned from the sport due to my rampant alcoholism. So after my PBA career I started inventing. All my inventions are supposed to do the opposite of what they normally do (sunglasses that brighten the room, chips that help you lose weight, whiskey that sobers you up, and a toaster that turns toast into bread). It slowly becomes apparent during the interview that none of them work, and I get drunker and drunker on my “non-alcoholic” whiskey. 

I get to the venue early and am just hanging out with the people who run the show. Ryan Dix, Roberto, Laura Batty, and a few others. My buddy Nick Deez showed up also.

So after they set up for the show we wait for it to start. There is a tiny audience of maybe 5 or 6 who aren’t involved in the show. That’s ok though because everybody is super into the show. I am so excited to see how the video turns out because I am super excited about it. I improvised the entire thing. I feel like I went in and out of my accent, but I honestly don’t care. It was super fun, and I got people laughing. I had an absurd outfit on, and some great lines. I’d give it a solid B. If I get to go back I know I’ll do even better.

They do some ads, and a singing commercial. Then Donna Lewis goes up and is doing the character of an ex child star. She is having a hot one, and everyone is having a blast. The show ends and it was definitely a success.

They make several attempts to lift the couch up with me in it. We get some funny pictures of me falling out of it, and them failing to lift me. We keep chatting for about an hour, and just talk shop, and shit. It was a super dope show, and I can’t wait to do it again.

All in all this was a helluva two days of shows. A real hoot and a half. I just want to give everybody who reads this blog a million kisses. XOXO I love you and I’ll be back to recap the weekend tomorrow sweeties! GOODBYE LAYDEES!!!!